Christmas, 1970Sandra M. Castillo b.

1970年圣诞光诸 译


We assemble the silver tree,
我们组装银色的树,
our translated lives,
那真实生命的译本
its luminous branches,
它那闪亮的树枝,
numbered to fit into its body.
被编号以装进它的树干。
place its metallic roots
然后组装它的金属树根,
to decorate our first Christmas.
来装饰我们的第一个圣诞节。
Mother finds herself
妈妈发现她一直在打开,关上那个红十字的盒子,
opening, closing the Red Cross box
她将把它带到1976年,
she will carry into 1976
就像一个不想要的上门礼物,
like an unwanted door prize,
一个计时器,一个顽固的事实,
a timepiece, a stubborn fact,
一个流放者的徽章,测量着我们的日子,
an emblem of exile measuring our days,
标记着我们背井离乡的时刻,
marked by the moment of our departure,
从此我们的生活不再井井有条。
our lives no longer arranged.


在某处,
Somewhere,
有一张照片,
there is a photograph,
一张“宝利来”妈妈都不记得曾经拍过:
a Polaroid Mother cannot remember was ever taken:
我坐在组装的圣诞树下,
I am sitting under Tia Tere’s Christmas tree,
在我们的第一套租住公寓,我们的新世界:
her first apartment in this, our new world:
我的姐妹在我的旁边,
my sisters by my side,
我穿着白衣服,黑靴子,
I wear a white dress, black boots,
八岁的小孩拍照时的无可奈何;
an eight-year-old’s resignation;
米儿和米子,四岁,
Mae and Mitzy, age four,
穿着红白雪花图案毛线衣,一模一样的笑容。
wear red and white snowflake sweaters and identical smiles,
在照片上,我们的第一个圣诞,
on this, our first Christmas,
远离了我们。
away from ourselves.


未来不真实,未来谁清楚,
The future unreal, unmade,
妈妈将要哭着进入新年,
Mother will cry into the new year
陪伴她的是李迪娅还有爱莫托,
with Lidia and Emerito,
我们楼下的老邻居,
our elderly downstairs neighbors,
她发现我们太小还不能明白:
who realize what we are too young to understand:
即使地图也不能
Even a map cannot show youthat no longer exists.
把你带回原先那个
已不存在的地方。


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