捧著你被火焰裝訂成灰燼的孤本

Only one copy of the flame-bound

像捧著一塊剛剛迸出地心的花崗岩

book of ash, held in both hands

七十個年輪灼燙的結晶

like a flake of granite sprung from earth’s core,

收藏在這隻深褐色的木匣裏

like scorched quartz, these bones’

等待我用慢慢冷卻的髓質的悲涼

seventy annular rings

細細釋讀：父親——

enshrined in their dark wood box,

這部無字的大書

awaiting close perusal

when my own sad marrow cools:

或許，每個來到世間的生命

father—

最終，都要將這易朽的肉身僅剩的

big book, wordless.

死神也啃不動的骨頭，送入地層深處

與所有骸骨一起，共同加固、支撐

Each life lands in this world,

年邁的不堪重負的大地

its rind of flesh so soon decayed,

當這隻緊緊依偎著我心跳的木匣

maybe these bones, sunk deep

——這隻滿載我錐心疼痛的小舟

with all that death won’t gnaw,

不得不在暮靄沉沉合攏的催迫裏

gird up the ancient soil

從我聲聲呼喚、挽留的臂彎解纜

which cannot bear much more.

從此漂向茫茫永夜的洪荒……

This wooden boat, packed with grief’s cargo

那一刻，那從血脈深處迸湧的

and bobbing at my pulse,

撕心裂肺的爆發

shuts tight amid the dusky mist,

使我終於撕掉那牢牢粘貼住心扉的

slips from my arms, my voice,

「儀規」的封條

drifting toward vast primal night.

迎著親友眾目睽睽的驚愕

In my veins the burst heart

像翻開一本我渴望已久的書籍的封面

tears its seal of custom,

我掀開骨灰盒薄薄的蓋子

and shameless I raise the lid

將痙攣的失去知覺的手臂

as if turning to a page,

伸進去——

my cramped, numb arm clutching

伸進那堆穿過死亡的煉火

at the mound of white-blazed

仍保留著你生命驚人溫度的

shards and dust,

熾白的骨碴和粉末：

still warm as life

索要烈焰焚心的紀念

after death’s cold fire,

to snatch these fragments.

一鍬鍬急雨般落向墓坑的泥土

落向深不見底——沒有回音的夜

Like sudden rain, earth patters down

我轉身，攥緊手中——

to the grave’s soundless night.

七塊鋒利的骨碴摩擦的磷火

Clenched in my hands, seven shards

在喧囂人世的寂寂裏穿行

chafe their spectral glow.

一支被此岸——彼岸

I pass silent through this clamorous world,

這拉滿的弓弦射出的箭鏃

the last look on his seamed, stiffening face

在渴念中無望地加速——

the arc of an arrow

為那抹也許我永遠無法追上的

speeding from one hopeless shore

那如甘露般，從你嘴角凝固的

to the other,

深深褶皺裏，緩緩沁出的

farther than my longest reach.

最後的微笑