Deep autumn, my neighbor starts to wonder

时至晚秋，邻居开始怀疑

how am I going to live. I want to die.

我该怎样活下去。我渴望死。

Life has depleted its sustenance. No telephone.

生活已难以维系：没有来电。

No texts from you. I listen to Beethoven,

没有你的消息。我听贝多芬，

learning how to go on even if I’m betrayed

学着继续度日的门道，尽管当下

by the present. In two hours

已弃我而去。再过两小时，

it’s going to rain. The streets will be completely bare.

雨就要降临。街道将空无一人。

The world grotesque like a stretcher.

这世界，畸零如担架。

Future full of meanness, vatic with voids.

鄙陋的未来，空洞早被预先透露。

Late sonatas of Beethoven are different

贝多芬晚年的奏鸣曲与

from his earlier works, his more familiar,

他为人熟知的前作不同，

famous lessons on strength and light.

那些关于力与光的著名教导。

Pedagogical arpeggios. Polished by time

训诫般的琶音。随时间带来的磨难

and torments of time, like a leaf stuck

而愈臻精湛，仿佛是卡在窗栅间的

in the windowpane, Sonata no. 31, for example,

一片树叶，比方说，第31号奏鸣曲

is but a magpie with its wings and tail chopped off.

莫过于此，一只被人剪下了翅翼

Even if you don’t want life, you live by eating,

和尾羽的小小喜鹊。无论你怎样

sleeping, loving without an object.

抗拒这生命，却仍要靠饮食而活

You pray and your prayer comes true. All this

靠睡眠，与一无所指的爱。

is but a dream of feathers. I wait for the pianist’s

你祈祷，而祷告之事终应验。这一切

fingers to slide back into her pockets.

莫过一场幻羽翻飞的梦。我在等

钢琴家的手指滑落回她的衣袋。