不，其实他并不难被搞懂。
No, he was actually quite easy to understand.
他想要那种平静的确定性，
He wanted that calm surety
他在外面受宠，
that was welcome
也被欢迎回家——
and welcome home—
专业、守时，
professional, punctual
对各种日期和纪念日从不含糊——
about dates and anniversaries—
桌上的玫瑰，
roses on the table,
烛光晚餐……
dinner by candlelight…
那是唯一允许
the only place
欲望燃烧的地方。
where desire was allowed to burn.
那是短袖的诺蒂卡网球衫，
It was short sleeve Nautica polos,
是烧烤时的高仿奥克利墨镜——
and Foakleys at the barbecue—
还有那含蓄地暗示着
tasteful silver necklaces that hinted too subtly
男子气概中一丝温柔的高雅银项链——
at a softness in the manhood—
谈正事时的握手与西装——
handshakes and suits for the business end of things—
被重新包装成“浪漫”的体面政治。
respectability politics repackaged as romance.
叛逆，当然，却又胆小得
Defiant, sure, but also too timid
不愿给别人造成麻烦……
to make it everyone else's problem...
我们在年轻之前就已老去。
Old before we were young.
我想，在某个地方我本该感恩地微笑、高度赞美，
I guess somewhere I was supposed to smile gratefully and speak highly
沉浸在那甜美而悲伤的
and revel in the sweet-sad
后创伤后现代主义之中，
post-traumatic post-modernism
并指望这微弱的嘶嘶声能化为熊熊烈火——
and expect this fizzle to be fire—
永不喧宾夺主，
never outshine,
哪怕我自己的镜子闪耀得太过耀眼……
even when my own mirror gleamed too bright…
只有当有值得生气的事情时，性才是愤怒的。
Sex is only angry when there's something to be angry about.
当它结束时，我曾谈论过
When it ended, I spoke about
流光溢彩的废墟和崩塌的圆柱——
opalescent ruins and columns crumbling—
但实际上，那是一场烈火过后
but really, it was blown-away ashes
被吹散的灰烬——
from an inferno—
那是动物体热的狐尾状气流，
the vulpine plume of animal heat,
就像超新星爆发产生的冲击波，
like shockwaves from a supernova
他曾想去研究，却从不敢涉足，
that he had wanted to study, but never ventured to,
因为外太空总是那么严寒。
because outer space is always too frigid.
就像我们曾经看过的那些星星一样，
And just like the stars we used to watch
在那我青春最后反叛的光污染
before the light pollution of the last rebellions of my youth
以及车头灯阴险的氙气将它们双双淹没之前——
and the insidious xenon of headlights drowned them both out—
好吧，这一点我得承认：
Well, I'll give him this:
他是懂“永远”的，
He understood forever,
他也知道事情
and he knew that things
（如果情状有所不同，
(had they been different,
如果我有所不同）
had I been different)
本可以长久。
could last.