No, he was actually quite easy to understand.
不，其实他并不难被搞懂。
He wanted that calm surety
他想要那种平静的确定性，
that was welcome
他在外面受宠，
and welcome home—
也被欢迎回家——
professional, punctual
专业、守时，
about dates and anniversaries—
对各种日期和纪念日从不含糊——
roses on the table,
桌上的玫瑰，
dinner by candlelight…
烛光晚餐……
the only place
那是唯一允许
where desire was allowed to burn.
欲望燃烧的地方。
It was short sleeve Nautica polos,
那是短袖的诺蒂卡网球衫，
and Foakleys at the barbecue—
是烧烤时的高仿奥克利墨镜——
tasteful silver necklaces that hinted too subtly
还有那含蓄地暗示着
at a softness in the manhood—
男子气概中一丝温柔的高雅银项链——
handshakes and suits for the business end of things—
谈正事时的握手与西装——
respectability politics repackaged as romance.
被重新包装成“浪漫”的体面政治。
Defiant, sure, but also too timid
叛逆，当然，却又胆小得
to make it everyone else's problem...
不愿给别人造成麻烦……
Old before we were young.
我们在年轻之前就已老去。
I guess somewhere I was supposed to smile gratefully and speak highly
我想，在某个地方我本该感恩地微笑、高度赞美，
and revel in the sweet-sad
沉浸在那甜美而悲伤的
post-traumatic post-modernism
后创伤后现代主义之中，
and expect this fizzle to be fire—
并指望这微弱的嘶嘶声能化为熊熊烈火——
never outshine,
永不喧宾夺主，
even when my own mirror gleamed too bright…
哪怕我自己的镜子闪耀得太过耀眼……
Sex is only angry when there's something to be angry about.
只有当有值得生气的事情时，性才是愤怒的。
When it ended, I spoke about
当它结束时，我曾谈论过
opalescent ruins and columns crumbling—
流光溢彩的废墟和崩塌的圆柱——
but really, it was blown-away ashes
但实际上，那是一场烈火过后
from an inferno—
被吹散的灰烬——
the vulpine plume of animal heat,
那是动物体热的狐尾状气流，
like shockwaves from a supernova
就像超新星爆发产生的冲击波，
that he had wanted to study, but never ventured to,
他曾想去研究，却从不敢涉足，
because outer space is always too frigid.
因为外太空总是那么严寒。
And just like the stars we used to watch
就像我们曾经看过的那些星星一样，
before the light pollution of the last rebellions of my youth
在那我青春最后反叛的光污染
and the insidious xenon of headlights drowned them both out—
以及车头灯阴险的氙气将它们双双淹没之前——
Well, I'll give him this:
好吧，这一点我得承认：
He understood forever,
他是懂“永远”的，
and he knew that things
他也知道事情
(had they been different,
（如果情状有所不同，
had I been different)
如果我有所不同）
could last.
本可以长久。