上教堂屠岸 译

Church Going菲利普·拉金


有一回,我确信里面没什么动静,
Once i am sure there's nothing going on
便走进去,让大门砰的一声关严实。
I step inside letting the door thud shut.
又是座教堂:石板,草垫,长凳;
Another church: matting seats and stone
小本《圣经》;凌乱的花束,摘来是
and little books; sprawlings of flowers cut
为了做礼拜,已蔫了;有铜器等物
For Sunday brownish now; some brass and stuff
置在圣堂的一端;小风琴挺整齐;
Up at the holy end; the small neat organ;
那紧张的、发霉的、不可忽视的静寂,
And a tense musty unignorable silence
天晓得酝酿多久了。没戴帽,我摘除
Brewed God knows how long. Hatless I take off
骑车裤腿夹,尴尬地表示敬意。
My cylce-clips in awkward revrence

向前走,绕着圣水盂用手摸了摸。
Move forward run my hand around the font.
站着看上面,那像是新的天花板──
From where i stand the roof looks almost new--
打扫过?修复的?有人会知道:除了我。
Cleaned or restored? someone would know: I don't.
我登上读经台,翻阅了少许圣诗篇,
Mounting the lectern I peruse a few
字大得怕人,念出了“到此结束”,
hectoring large-scale verses and pronouce
声音比自己原来想发的大得多。
Here endeth much more loudly than I'd meant
短促的回声在窃笑。我回到大门口,
The echoes snigger briefly. Back at the door
签了名,捐了爱尔兰六便士硬币,
I sign the book donate an Irish sixpence
回想这地方实在不值得逗留。
Reflect the place was not worth stopping for.

我却停了步:其实我常常停步,
Yet stop I did: in fact I often do
每回都像这一次,感到挺困惑,
And always end much at a loss like this
想知道该寻求什么;也想弄清楚:
Wondering what to look for; wondering too
当教堂沦落到全无用处的时刻,
When churches fall completely out of use
该把这转变成什么,可否长期
What we shall turn them into if we shall keep
开放几座大教堂,在上锁的柜子里
A few cathedrals chronically on show
展出羊皮纸文件,圣餐盒,银盘子;
Their parchment plate and pyx in locked cases
其余的教堂就交给风雨和羊蹄?
And let the rest rent-free to rain and sheep.
该不该躲开它,当作不详之地?
Shall we avoid them as unlucky places?

或许,天黑后,有可疑的妇人进来,
Or after dark will dubious women come
叫她的孩子们摸一块特别的石头;
To make their children touvh a particular stone;
或是采集致癌的药草;或是在
Pick simples for a cancer; or on some
知情的某晚来观看死人行走?
Advised night see walking a dead one?
这种或那种力量总会在游戏或
Power of some sort or other will go on
谜语中起作用,这似乎纯属偶然;
In games in riddles seemingly at random;
但迷信,正如信仰,必须消灭掉,
But superstition like belief must die
等到不相信也没了,还剩下什么?
And what remains when disbelief has gone?
野草,荒径,荆榛,扶垛,苍昊。
Grass weedy pavement brambles butress sky.

一周又一周,形状越来越难认,
A shape less recognisable each week
用途越来越不明。我不知道,
A purpose more obscure. I wonder who
最后,到了最后,谁会来探寻
Will be the last the very last to seek
教堂的原址?有人来这里敲一敲、
This place for whta it was; one of the crew
记一笔,什么是十字架圣坛可知道?
That tap and jot and know what rood-lofts were?
是哪个贪求古物的、废墟狂恋者?
Some ruin-bibber randy for antique
或者是个圣诞迷,打算在这里
Or Christmas-addict counting on a whiff
找些牧师的服饰、管风琴或没药
Of grown-and-bands and organ-pipes and myrrh?
或者,这个人能否代表我自己,
Or will he be my representative

感到烦,不知情,知道鬼魂的沉积
Bored uninformed knowing the ghostly silt
已消散,却还要穿过灌木林市郊
Dispersed yet tending to this cross of ground
来到这十字形地方,因为长期地
Through suburb scrub because it held unspilt
保持着平稳,只能在分离中找到──
So long and equably what since is found
结婚,生育,死亡和对此的沉思──
Only in separation--marriage and birth
当初正是为了这些而建造
And death and thoughts of these--for which was built
这具特殊的外壳的?我心里不明白
This special shell? For though I've no idea
这个发霉的大仓库有什么价值,
What this accoutred frowsty barn is worth
我倒喜欢在这里静静地呆一呆;
It pleases me to stand in silence here;

它是严肃的大地上严肃的房屋,
A serious house on serious earth it is
我们被强制聚在它交融的空气里,
In whose blent air all our compulsions meet
被承认,被当做命运而身穿袍服。
Are recognisd and robed as destinies.
这一点永远绝对不会被废弃,
And that much never can be obsolete
因为有的人总会意外地发现
Since someone will forever be surprising
他自身有一种饥饿,更加严肃;
A hunger in himself to be more serious
他会被吸引到这里来,带着饥饿;
And gravitating with it to this ground
他听说这是个使人变聪明的地点,
Which he once heard was proper to grow wise in
也许只因为四周有许多死者。
If only that so many dead lie round.


1955
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