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So, if you don’t believe in full it means you don’t 

所以说，如果你不全信，那你就是不

believe. Words tumble onto the rock. A book 

信。话刻上石头。书就这样成了。

happens. 

好，那给我讲讲天堂里美丽的

Okay then tell me about heaven’s beautiful 

食物和女人。那些女人都是什么人？

food and women. Who are these women? 

我朋友说，“此生就像坐二十分钟火车。”

My friend says, “This life is like a twenty-minute train ride.” 

他说，“每天我都感到

He says, “I live inside my 

我的信心更完满了一些。”

faith more fully every day.” 

我站在潮湿的人行道上，就在

I am standing on soaked pavement outside 

市中心那堂皇的大酒店门外。就快

that majestic hotel in the center of town. Just before 

天黑了，鸟群猛地俯冲下来活像

dark, the birds come in a furious swoop like 

黄蜂，蛰破天空好让另一边的

hornets, stinging the sky to let in 

进来。

what is on the other side. 

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那来生也一样是

肉体这些事，从一开始就被否认？

Then the next life is equally 

about the body, denied in the first? 

“你知道先知知道人骨头的

确切数目吗？你为什么问这么多问题？你问的

“Do you know the Prophet knew the exact number of bones in the human 

问题比你吸入的空气还多。”

body? And why do you ask so many questions? You ask 

more questions than you take in breaths of air.” 

鸟群扇动翅膀。它们在天河里

皱起波涛。在每天的同一时间。

The birds beat. They crumple in 

祁克果说

rivers of sky. At the same time every day. Kierkegaard said that

人在绝望的每个瞬间都消解着绝望。我的朋友并不

every instant a man in despair is contracting it. My friend is not 

绝望；我也不绝望。

in despair; I am not in despair. 

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祁克果说有三种

Kierkegaard says there are three kinds of despair: despair 

绝望：无自我意识的绝望，不想要

at not being conscious of having a self, despair at not being 

成为自己的绝望，还有想要

willing to be oneself, and despair at willingness to be 

成为自己的

oneself. Listen, the train. Why complain about 

绝望。听，火车。空调，你为何要抱怨

the seat, the air conditioner? Just do 

座椅？到达之前，

your best until you arrive. 

做好你自己。

During Ramadan, I fasted a week. I went to the mosque. 

斋月，我禁食了一周。我去了清真寺。

My friend’s uncle said: 

我朋友的叔叔说：

“So you are becoming Muslim?” I said: “No.” He said: “Shame 

“那，你要入教了吗？”我说：“没有。”

on you.” 

他说：“你

真是的。”

In the cold November current, there is a whirring of wings. Sometimes 

they cloud into petals, sometimes they don’t. 

十一月的寒流里，有翅膀

扑棱棱的声音。有时候

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它们像花瓣一样聚起来，有时候也不那样。

When the forehead presses to the earth, the blood moves 

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down. In the joining, the self lightens. You must count the three perfect 

joints of each finger to keep time. Make no mistake, you leave the body only 

额头触及泥土时，血液

向下流动。通过连接，自我被点亮。你必须好好数着

through the body. The train ride. This quiet voice that is borrowed or my own.

每根手指碰三下，来计算时间。不要

犯错，要离开这躯体只能

借助于躯体。坐火车。这借来的、或是我自己的，微弱的声音。