学会不同方式的爱是困难的，

Learning to love differently is hard,

爱却不握紧，爱的大门

love with the hands wide open, love

并不固定在门轴上，

with the doors banging on their hinges,

柜门大敞，风在屋中呼啸，

the cupboard unlocked, the wind

让床单簌簌作声，

roaring and whimpering in the rooms

百页窗猛地关上，

rustling the sheets and snapping the blinds

就像皮筋

that thwack like rubber bands

狠狠地打在手掌心。

in an open palm

让爱松开是疼痛的，

It hurts to love wide open

就像拉伸肌肉，

stretching the muscles that feel

那肌肉群开始是湿石膏做的

as if they are made of wet plaster,

然后是钝刀子，然后

then of blunt knives, then

是锐利刀锋。

of sharp knives.

爱然后一次次放手，

It hurts to thwart the reflexes

阻止抓握的条件反射是疼痛的；

of grab, of clutch ; to love and let

在空床上想起恋人，

go again and again. It pesters to remember

抑制那充分发力的爱情

the lover who is not in the bed,

那自觉地、认真地、实在地、建设性地

to hold back what is owed to the work

爱情，

that gutters like a candle in a cave

如今它像烛光在空气稀少的洞穴里摇曳

without air, to love consciously,

搅扰肝肠。

conscientiously, concretely, constructively.

我做不到。你说这样做是在

I can’t do it, you say it’s killing

杀死我，但是你容光焕发，

me, but you thrive, you glow

在街上闪闪亮亮

on the street like a neon raspberry,

就像一盏野红莓霓虹灯。

You float and sail, a helium balloon

你放飞一个氦气球，

bright bachelor’s button blue and bobbing

上面有着艳丽的“单身”徽章，

on the cold and hot winds of our breath,

在我们呼吸出的热的、

as we make and unmake in passionate

冷的风中摇摆。

diastole and systole the rhythm

当我们系上和解开

of our unbound bonding, to have

那激情的舒张和收缩中

and not to hold, to love

我们注定要松开的结，

with minimized malice, hunger

拥有却不占有，

and anger moment by moment balanced.

那最小恨意的爱情，

饥渴和怨怒，在分分秒秒中平衡。

拥有，但却无法抓牢。