我寄居的城市三英里外

Three miles from my adopted city

有一座村莊能帶給我安寧。

lies a village where I came to peace.

那裏的世界風平浪靜，

The world there was a calm place,

偉大的多瑙河不過是

even the great Danube no more

大地上一根白絲帶

than a pale ribbon tossed onto the landscape

被粗心的小女孩丟棄。在這靜止的中心

by a girl’s careless hand. Into this stillness

他們吩咐我康復。

I had been ordered to recover.

晚夏把山坡染得金黃；

The hills were gold with late summer;

我的屋子分兩間，加一個小廚房，

my rooms were two, plus a small kitchen,

位於一幢村舍二樓的後身，

situated upstairs in the back of a cottage

「紳士街」的盡頭。

at the end of the

從窗口我能看見院子裏

Herrengasse

一棵菩提樹盤結著指向天空——

.

一根茁壯的臍帶斜著伸向光，

From my window I could see onto the courtyard

扭曲正是因為渴望——

where a linden tree twined skyward—

而我以太陽為食彷彿這唯一的營養

leafy umbilicus canted toward light,

能瓦解我周圍的寂靜。

warped in the very act of yearning—

and I would feed on the sun as if that alone

起初我怒火中燒。音樂在我體內施暴，

would dismantle the silence around me.

它迅速高漲而我未及寫下

以便平復這激動。我停下來

At first I raged. Then music raged in me,

點一盞燈，我錯過的事物——

rising so swiftly I could not write quickly enough

雲雀歸巢，教堂的晚鐘，牧羊人

to ease the roiling. I would stop

回家路上的歌聲——洶湧襲來，我

to light a lamp, and whatever I’d missed—

再一次盛怒。

larks flying to nest, church bells, the shepherd’s

home-toward-evening song—rushed in, and I

我天生是一場大火；

would rage again.

我寧可跳躍

也不願坐著被觀看。

I am by nature a conflagration;

所以當我驕傲的都會揚起

I would rather leap

她吉普賽的裙擺，我回來了，

than sit and be looked at.

燒向她更為明麗、永恒的燈火。

So when my proud city spread

her gypsy skirts, I reentered,

說我粗魯，暴躁，邋遢——告訴你吧，

burning towards her greater, constant light.

我所了解的溫柔

什麼都不是

Call me rough, ill-tempered, slovenly—I tell you,

除了挫敗的暴力，一種耐久

every tenderness I have ever known

而深刻的疼痛，輕輕一碰

has been nothing

就蘇醒……不存在

but thwarted violence, an ache

so permanent and deep, the lightest touch

徹底的關愛。我回來了

awakens it… It is impossible

帶著第二首交響曲

和十五首鋼琴變奏

to care enough. I have returned

我為之取名《普羅米修斯》

with a second Symphony

以紀念那位叛逆的提坦，一個半神

and 15 Piano Variations

明白最嚴重的罪莫過於拿走

which I’ve named Prometheus,

不能歸還的東西。

after the rogue Titan, the half-a-god

who knew the worst sin is to take

我微笑，鞠躬，世界真吵。

what cannot be given back.

我不敢把身子傾進去大叫

「你們看不見我聾嗎？」——

I smile and bow, and the world is loud.

但我無法停止傾聽。

And though I dare not lean in to shout

Can’t you see that I’m deaf?

—

I also cannot stop listening.