Three miles from my adopted city

我寄居的城市三英里外

lies a village where I came to peace.

有一座村莊能帶給我安寧。

The world there was a calm place,

那裏的世界風平浪靜，

even the great Danube no more

偉大的多瑙河不過是

than a pale ribbon tossed onto the landscape

大地上一根白絲帶

by a girl’s careless hand. Into this stillness

被粗心的小女孩丟棄。在這靜止的中心

I had been ordered to recover.

他們吩咐我康復。

The hills were gold with late summer;

晚夏把山坡染得金黃；

my rooms were two, plus a small kitchen,

我的屋子分兩間，加一個小廚房，

situated upstairs in the back of a cottage

位於一幢村舍二樓的後身，

at the end of the

「紳士街」的盡頭。

Herrengasse

從窗口我能看見院子裏

.

一棵菩提樹盤結著指向天空——

From my window I could see onto the courtyard

一根茁壯的臍帶斜著伸向光，

where a linden tree twined skyward—

扭曲正是因為渴望——

leafy umbilicus canted toward light,

而我以太陽為食彷彿這唯一的營養

warped in the very act of yearning—

能瓦解我周圍的寂靜。

and I would feed on the sun as if that alone

would dismantle the silence around me.

起初我怒火中燒。音樂在我體內施暴，

它迅速高漲而我未及寫下

At first I raged. Then music raged in me,

以便平復這激動。我停下來

rising so swiftly I could not write quickly enough

點一盞燈，我錯過的事物——

to ease the roiling. I would stop

雲雀歸巢，教堂的晚鐘，牧羊人

to light a lamp, and whatever I’d missed—

回家路上的歌聲——洶湧襲來，我

larks flying to nest, church bells, the shepherd’s

再一次盛怒。

home-toward-evening song—rushed in, and I

would rage again.

我天生是一場大火；

我寧可跳躍

I am by nature a conflagration;

也不願坐著被觀看。

I would rather leap

所以當我驕傲的都會揚起

than sit and be looked at.

她吉普賽的裙擺，我回來了，

So when my proud city spread

燒向她更為明麗、永恒的燈火。

her gypsy skirts, I reentered,

burning towards her greater, constant light.

說我粗魯，暴躁，邋遢——告訴你吧，

我所了解的溫柔

Call me rough, ill-tempered, slovenly—I tell you,

什麼都不是

every tenderness I have ever known

除了挫敗的暴力，一種耐久

has been nothing

而深刻的疼痛，輕輕一碰

but thwarted violence, an ache

就蘇醒……不存在

so permanent and deep, the lightest touch

awakens it… It is impossible

徹底的關愛。我回來了

帶著第二首交響曲

to care enough. I have returned

和十五首鋼琴變奏

with a second Symphony

我為之取名《普羅米修斯》

and 15 Piano Variations

以紀念那位叛逆的提坦，一個半神

which I’ve named Prometheus,

明白最嚴重的罪莫過於拿走

after the rogue Titan, the half-a-god

不能歸還的東西。

who knew the worst sin is to take

what cannot be given back.

我微笑，鞠躬，世界真吵。

我不敢把身子傾進去大叫

I smile and bow, and the world is loud.

「你們看不見我聾嗎？」——

And though I dare not lean in to shout

但我無法停止傾聽。

Can’t you see that I’m deaf?

—

I also cannot stop listening.