The other night, I gazed at what I’d won–

几天前的一个夜晚，我注视着我的战利品——

you, tethered to the couch and growling deep

你，瘫在沙发上，肚里塞满晚餐发出低沉的呼噜声，

with dinner, treating all within your realm

用鼾声、屁声和肠胃蠕动声的交响乐，

to symphonies of snorts and poots and winds

款待你领地内的所有人，

and afterward, you’d smile, as if you were

随后，你会微笑，仿佛你

a child, with innocence your one excuse.

是个孩子，用天真作为你唯一的借口。

And did I say I love you? Yes, I do.

我说过我爱你吗？是的，我爱你。

I love the you who loves the you in me,

我爱那个爱着我心中那个“你”的你，

I love the one we are, the two we were,

我爱如今合二为一的我们，也爱之前的你我，

the stains that bloom on every shirt you own,

爱你在每件衬衫上绽放的污渍，

the waddle in your walk, your stubborn stance,

爱你走路时摇摆的姿态，你固执的立场，

your belly pushing out from under T’s

爱你从T恤下摆挺出的肚腩，

and body music I first thought was crass.

以及我起初觉得粗俗的身体乐章。

I love that we’re so comfortable with us,

我爱我们相处如此自在，

our crevices, and dips and droops and scars,

我们身上的皱褶、凹陷、下垂和疤痕，

our sprouting hairs and balding spots and nights

我们新长的杂毛、秃顶的斑块，以及那些

of churned tequila failing to stay down.

龙舌兰酒在腹中翻江倒海的夜晚。

I love that you have seen me so collapsed

我爱你曾见过我如此崩溃

that all I was was air, and that right now

崩溃到仿佛是空气人，而即使现在

I’m naked, menopausal, sweating stink

我赤身裸体、处于更年期、流着臭汗

and close to tears, and still you hold me tight

几乎落泪，你依然紧紧抱住我，

as if somebody else would want the me

仿佛别人也会觊觎

you have. I love the blatant man in you–

你拥有的这个我。我爱你骨子里毫不掩饰的男人味——

your shining armor, and the certain way

你的闪亮铠甲，以及你

you make a circle safe around our lives,

笃定地在我们生活周围画出安全圆圈的方式，

our sloppy lives, our wild blues lyric lives,

我们邋遢的生活，我们狂野蓝调歌词般的生活，

our sunken chairs and all our mismatched cups

我们凹陷的椅子和所有不配套的杯子，

our million books in pieced-together rooms

我们拼凑起来的房间里成百万本书，

our nights of belch and burp and whiskey shots

我们伴随着打嗝、饱嗝和威士忌的夜晚，

and pie and bags of Twizzlers gobbled down

狼吞虎咽吃下的派和一袋袋甘草软糖，

while TV slaps us numb and dulls our brains

当电视用那些离我们如此遥远的惊险生活

with thrilling lives so far outside of ours.

把我们拍得身体麻木大脑迟钝。

I love that you’re a singer, sans a key,

我爱你是个歌手，五音不全，

who warbles, screeches, hums and drives me mad

颤音、尖叫、哼唱，把我逼疯，

with painfully dumb lyrics you create

你还创作蠢到家的歌词

to songs I thought I knew. And sometimes we

配上我觉得熟悉的歌。有时我们

just stop and stare and wonder, How did this

会停下来，面面相觑，纳闷着：这一切

work out? I had a husband, you a wife,

是怎么修成正果的？

and then, all gone. We shoved aside whole lives

我曾有丈夫，你曾有妻子，

for days of nothing but ourselves, and yes

然后，一切都烟消云散。我们把各自的大半生推到一旁，

our girl, the one who came to us a child

换来只有我们彼此的日子，哦，对，

of separate parts. Not ours but all of ours,

还有我们的女孩，那个来时支离破碎的孩子。

she charmed us with her sweet disarming smile

不是我们亲生，却完全属于我们，她用甜美动人、毫无防备的微笑

and days of raven hair. You opened wide your arms

和时光中的乌发迷住了我们。你张开双臂

and pulled her in, our orphan girl, our light,

把她拉进怀里，我们的孤女，我们的光，

our sudden daughter brandishing her wounds

我们猝不及防的女儿，挥舞着她的伤口，

and trusting us to heal. And now, of course,

信任我们能将之治愈。而现在，当然，

she’s you, an entertainer, droll and wise,

她成了你，一个开心果，滑稽又聪慧，

laughing loud at things that no one else

对着旁人看不见的事物

can see. I’m more than blessed to have you both,

大声欢笑。拥有你们俩，我何止是有幸，

although the blessing’s hard for most to see.

尽管大多数人很难看出这份福气。

I wander through these messy rooms of love,

我漫步在这些凌乱的、充满爱的房间里，

astounded by my one. The he. We three.

对我的“唯一”感到惊叹。那个他。我们仨。