我厭惡你,
I hate you,
孩子們一看見
How the children plead
就哀求——
At first sight—
我要,我沒有,
I want, I need,
我厭惡我幾乎
I hate how nearly
總是
Always I
先說不,
At first say no,
然後答應。
And then comply.
(遲早,遲早
(Soon, soon
他們將厭膩
They will grow bored
抓緊你的
Clutching your
臍帶)——
Umbilical cord)—
任你飄過月亮,
Over the moon,
輕於空氣,
Lighter-than-air,
假如你被帶回家,
Should you come home,
他們很快就不再關心——
They’d cease to care—
那個用繩子
Who tugs you through
牽你邁進
The front door
大門的人,將不再
On a leash, won’t want you
需要你
Anymore
並把你遺忘
And will forget you
在天花板上——
On the ceiling—
誠然,
Admittedly,
這令人眩暈——
A giddy feeling—
再發現時你已經
Later to find you,
皺縮,變小,
Puckered, small,
矮矮地
Crouching low
蹲在牆角。
Against the wall.
哦,薄皮膚
O thin-of-skin
多適合脹破,
And fit to burst,
你為她
You break for her
那最需要你的人裂開。
Who wants you worst.
你的祖先
Your forebear was
是袋子裏的風,
The sack of the winds,
施予恩惠
The boon that gives
隨後收攏,
And then rescinds,
使盡力氣
Containing nothing
把每個人
But the force
吹離航道
That blows everyone
此外空無他物。
Off course.
一經擁有,
Once possessed,
便完成了你唯一的雜務,
Your one chore done,
你像幸福一樣飄著
You float like happiness
朝向太陽,
To the sun,
無拘無束的下午,
Untethered afternoon,
冷漠地
Unkind,
將背後一切
Marooning all
放逐:
You’ve left behind:
他們錫箔做的淚珠,
Their tinfoil tears,
他們塑料般的哭喊,
Their plastic cries,
他們的撒嬌
Their wheedling
和例行再見,
And moot goodbyes,
你抖掉他們——
You shrug them off—
你沒有反應——
You do not heed—
哦,松開的氣球
O loose bloom
沒有根
With no root
不會發芽。
No seed.