是否值得在領事館等待

Was it worth waiting in consulates

某個職員一閃即逝的好脾氣

for some clerk’s fleeting good humor

和在火車站等待晚班車，

and waiting at the station for a late train,

值得看披著日本斗篷的埃特納火山

seeing Etna in its Japanese cloak

和拂曉的巴黎，當奧斯曼那些傳統手法的女像柱

and Paris at dawn, as Haussman’s conventional caryatids

從黑暗中迎面聳立，

came looming from the dark,

值得進入廉價餐館

entering cheap restaurants

去聞那喜氣洋洋的大蒜味，

to the triumphal smell of garlic,

值得搭乘我想不起是

was it worth taking the underground

什麽城市下的地鐵

beneath I can’t recall what city

去看不是我的祖先的幽靈，

to see the shades of not my ancestors,

值得坐小型飛機盤旋在西雅圖

flying in a tiny plane over an earthquake

一次地震上猶如蜻蜓在火堆上，卻又

in Seattle like a dragonfly above a fire, but also

幾乎三個月不能呼吸，提些焦慮的問題，

scarcely breathing for three months, asking anxious questions,

忘記恩典的神秘方式，

forgetting the mysterious ways of grace,

在報紙上讀背叛和謀殺的故事，

reading in papers about betrayal, murder,

是否值得思考、回憶、陷入

was it worth thinking, remembering, falling

最深的沉睡，沉睡中灰色的門廳

into deepest sleep, where gray hallways

伸展，值得購買黑書，

stretched, buying black books,

匆匆從一個比我未見過的塞維利亞的大教堂

jotting only separate images

還輝煌的萬花筒裏

from a kaleidoscope more glorious than the cathedral

記下零散的影像，

in Seville, which I haven’t seen,

是否值得來來去去，是否——

was it worth coming and going, was it—

是也好不是也好

yes no yes no

都抹不掉什麽。

erase nothing.