Feeling the Way史春波, 乔治·奥康奈尔 译

摸索杜家祁


No one around, the corridor long and dark.
長廊昏暗,再望不見其他人
Who turned the lights off?
是誰忘了開燈
As we walk to the corner
走到轉角的地方
our shoulders nearly touch.
我和你的肩膀幾乎相碰

Like a Gypsy with her crystal ball
我曾像擁有水晶球的吉甫賽女人
I once read thoughts in others’ eyes.
從各人眸中望見各種心思
But yours were thick as last night’s wine
你的眼睛卻稠醪如昨夜未喝盡的酒
and layered in dark clouds.
眼底沉澱層層啡黑色雲翳

As if a car passed,
錯覺像遠方駛過的街車
something lights
燈影一瞬劃過
this briefly awkward moment
片刻照亮我們的處境
amid the pressing dark.
又復歸向固執的黑暗

I always wanted to be a black cat
我總想變成一隻黑貓
crouched in a corner, gazing coldly on the world,
伏在角落只剩一對亮眼觀看世界
so see you now, spotlit
冷眼望你在聚光燈下
like a statue in bronze, self-sculpted,
逐漸雕塑自己為一尊銅像
while I meld with night.
而我打算把身軀溶入黝黝的夜色

You walk ahead, giving off
而此刻你走在我身旁
the fragrance of a male.
發出熱衷領路的雄性氣味
Blindfolded, I stretch my hand
我卻像被黑巾蒙住了眼睛
into the air of endlessly extending space,
我卻只能伸出雙手摸索
the only thing between us.
在不斷擴展的黑域內想像

空間大小、你我之間距離遠近
Somewhere a car growls by,
除了空氣,我沒有掌握住什麽
and then this silence

more fatal than a whisper.
錯覺一瞬遠方有車開過

引擎低吼一聲歸向命定的寂靜
The lights still out,
寂靜中我彷若聽見有人喁喁私語
I cannot find the switch.

Is the exit far ahead?
還是沒人開燈
Our toes feel for the edges of the stairs.
我依然摸索不到開關
出口的方向是否真在前面?
我們小心地用腳尖探測梯階的邊緣


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