I am warned against marrying

人们警告我不要和初恋结婚。

early love. I am also told

但也有人说

it works out, sometimes,

这也能修成正果，有时，

for saplings can be braided like hair.

就像树苗可以像编辫子一样缠绕。

We will bend and grow together

我们会一起弯曲、成长，

while the centuried oaks at Toomer’s Corner

当图默角那些百年橡树

hollow, and the college tree poisoner

渐渐中空，而那校园古树的毒杀者

brags on the radio. Your ring on my finger,

还在广播里自吹自擂。你戴在我指间的那枚戒指，

a single green stone, is alive

一颗翠绿的宝石，在夜色中，

in the night, in the blue glow

在炉灶上方数字时钟的蓝色辉光下，

of numbers above the stove. Still,

鲜活如生。然而，

in the other present, we are paused

在另一个平行时空，我们正停留在

on the dorm-room couch of our first kiss:

初吻的宿舍沙发上：

you are twisting toward me,

你正向我扭过身来，

and the years that make up the majority of my life

而那占据我大半生岁月的时光

feel planets away:

感觉隔着好几个行星：

a flicker of incredible distance

闪烁着不可思议的距离，

I breathe in

我吸入那距离——

and it’s kin to when, yesterday, the drugs hit,

它就像，我昨天感受到药物发作，

when you stared

当你盯着

from my reflection in the mirror

镜中我的影子，

to my shirtless body, almost thirty,

又看向我快要三十岁的、上身赤裸的身体，

your gaze a too-wide needle

你的凝视像一根太粗的针，

stitching in vain, and you explained

徒劳地缝补着什么，而你解释说

that I was nowhere—

我已不在那里——

doubled, dispersed.

我被一分为二，四散而去。

How can I forget how even

我怎能忘记，即使

when you wrapped me in your arms,

当你拥我入怀时，

this did not fix it. And this morning,

也无法将其修复。而今天清晨，

when I wake to the black hourglass

当我醒来，看着你腰侧

tattooed on your side,

纹着的那只黑色沙漏，

still asking you, Have I returned?

依然在问你：我回来了吗？

please, answer me honestly.

求你，请诚实地回答我。

Only you can see it, only you can know.

只有你能看见，只有你能知晓。