You’ve never seen a lilac in Mississippi.
你从未在密西西比见过真正的丁香。
Backstage you wear lotion laced with
在后台，你抹着混合了
its chemical imitation. A ballet mistress
化学仿制香味的乳液。芭蕾女导师
says relevé always as command: lift
总像下令般说着“relevé”：
onto the toe using only the heel.
只用脚跟发力，将身体推向脚趾。
Your ankle’s bewilderment
你脚踝的无所适从
old as the horned owl gaze from
同观众席中弓着背的母亲
your mother hunched in the audience.
角鸮般的注视一样苍老。
You enter the stage as Lilac Fairy
你作为丁香仙子登台，
& fairies make critical things happen,
仙子总能促成关键的事。
though underneath your tulle brushing
尽管在你在薄纱之下，
sleep over a kingdom, you’re a mouse
挥舞魔棒让整个王国沉睡，你只是一只
who gets eaten every night.
每晚都被吞噬的老鼠。
No audience wants to see that. Not
没有观众想看那一幕。包括
the barbed feathers tucked in your
藏在你母亲开襟衫里那些扎人的羽毛。
mother’s cardigan. If you pretend
如果你假装营救即将来临，
rescue is coming, it might.
也许它真的会来。
Relevé meaning rise & also relief.
Relevé 意味着升起，也意味着解脱。
Lift your head along with the heel.
头随着脚跟一同抬起。
A boy your mother says is not a boy
那个被母亲说成“不是男孩”的男孩，
follows your pirouettes from the balcony.
在楼座注视着你的单腿旋转。
Already a wondering, rise to what.
一个疑问已经出现：升起到何处。
The ballet can’t perform without
没有童话，芭蕾便无法上演。
fairy tale. The stage is safe for magic,
舞台对于魔法是安全的，
or at least pretend. Almost everyone gets
或者至少假装如此。
a solo in Sleeping Beauty, so no surgeon’s
在《睡美人》里，几乎每个人都有独舞，
daughter has hidden your pointe shoes
所以没有哪个外科医生的女儿
in the dressing room couch. The boy
会把你的足尖鞋藏在更衣室的沙发下面。
was careful not to bring flowers
那个男孩小心翼翼地没带鲜花，
but you can feel his eyes bending around
但你能感觉到他的目光环绕
the shoulders, clavicle, and neck you forgot
你的双肩、锁骨和颈部——你几乎忘记
existed. When these minutes end,
它们的存在。在这几分钟里，，
these minutes of spinning his eyes
他的目光跳着自己的单脚旋转舞
in their own pirouette, the world
当这几分钟结束，这个世界
won’t allow you to leave in his red Bronco,
将不再允许你坐着他的红色“烈马”越野车离开，
not anymore. Already, hope sounds like
永远不会。此时，“希望”听起来
the adult word for magic. Relevé
已经像是成年人的在说“魔法”。
meaning how much choreographed
Relevé 意味着
relief a kingdom tolerates. Already
一个王国能容忍多少排练好的解脱。
you are learning the off-stage rules
此时，你正学着台下的规则：
about who gets rescued. Who throws
关于谁会被营救。关于
flowers, who catches them.
谁抛出鲜花，而谁将它们接住。