但我想做的只是在一片

but all I want to do is marry them on a beach

不肯把自己看得太严肃的海滩上和Ta结婚。

that refuses to take itself too seriously.

我们生活有太多时候太严肃了。

So much of our lives has been serious.

渐渐地，我明白了爱最令人震惊之处，

Over time, I’ve learned that love is most astonishing

是在我们知晓彼此从何而来之后它仍未散去。

when it persists after learning where we come from.

当我带伴侣回到童年的家，

When I bring my partner to my childhood home

那里满是子弹、针头，还有让人

it is all bullets and needles and trash bags held

保持一臂距离的垃圾袋。

at arm’s length. It is my estranged father’s damp

那里有我疏离的父亲潮湿的纸板床铺，

bed of cardboard and cigar boxes filled

还有装满纱布与发黑汤匙的

with gauze and tarnished spoons. It is hard

雪茄盒。打扫一所房子

to clean a home, but it is harder to clean

已经很难，而更难的，

the memory of it. When I was young, my

是清理对它的记忆。小时候，

father would light lavender candles and shoot

父亲会点起薰衣草蜡烛，然后

up. Now, my partner and I light a fire that will

注射那东西。如今，我和伴侣

burn all traces of the family that lived here.

点燃一场火，要烧尽

Black plastic smoke curdles up, and loose bullets

曾在这里生活过的整个家族的痕迹。

discharge in the flames. My partner holds

黑色塑料的烟雾翻卷而上，散落的子弹

my hand as gunfire rings through

在火焰中走火。我的伴侣握着我的手，

the birch trees. Though this is almost

当枪声在白桦树林间回荡。虽然这个瞬间

beautiful, it is not. And if I’m being honest,

几乎是美的，却它不是。如果要我说实话，

my partner and I spend most of our time

我和伴侣在这世上的大多数时光，

on earth feeding one another citrus fruits

只是彼此喂食柑橘类水果，和

and enough strength to go on. Every morning

足以继续活下去的力量。每天早晨，

I pack them half a grapefruit and some sugar.

我为Ta准备半个葡萄柚和一些糖。

And they tell me it’s just sweet enough.

而Ta告诉我“甜得刚刚好”。