but all I want to do is marry them on a beach

但我想做的只是在一片

that refuses to take itself too seriously.

不肯把自己看得太严肃的海滩上和Ta结婚。

So much of our lives has been serious.

我们生活有太多时候太严肃了。

Over time, I’ve learned that love is most astonishing

渐渐地，我明白了爱最令人震惊之处，

when it persists after learning where we come from.

是在我们知晓彼此从何而来之后它仍未散去。

When I bring my partner to my childhood home

当我带伴侣回到童年的家，

it is all bullets and needles and trash bags held

那里满是子弹、针头，还有让人

at arm’s length. It is my estranged father’s damp

保持一臂距离的垃圾袋。

bed of cardboard and cigar boxes filled

那里有我疏离的父亲潮湿的纸板床铺，

with gauze and tarnished spoons. It is hard

还有装满纱布与发黑汤匙的

to clean a home, but it is harder to clean

雪茄盒。打扫一所房子

the memory of it. When I was young, my

已经很难，而更难的，

father would light lavender candles and shoot

是清理对它的记忆。小时候，

up. Now, my partner and I light a fire that will

父亲会点起薰衣草蜡烛，然后

burn all traces of the family that lived here.

注射那东西。如今，我和伴侣

Black plastic smoke curdles up, and loose bullets

点燃一场火，要烧尽

discharge in the flames. My partner holds

曾在这里生活过的整个家族的痕迹。

my hand as gunfire rings through

黑色塑料的烟雾翻卷而上，散落的子弹

the birch trees. Though this is almost

在火焰中走火。我的伴侣握着我的手，

beautiful, it is not. And if I’m being honest,

当枪声在白桦树林间回荡。虽然这个瞬间

my partner and I spend most of our time

几乎是美的，却它不是。如果要我说实话，

on earth feeding one another citrus fruits

我和伴侣在这世上的大多数时光，只是

and enough strength to go on. Every morning

彼此喂食柑橘类水果，和足以继续活下去的力量。

I pack them half a grapefruit and some sugar.

每天早晨，我为Ta准备半个葡萄柚和一些糖。

And they tell me it’s just sweet enough.

而Ta告诉我“甜得刚刚好”。