出乎意料的事情发⽣了。

The unexpected has happened.

孩⼦们离开，丈夫不在，

Children gone, husband away,

我独⾃⼀⼈在滚热、

and I alone in hot wash

摇荡的⽔中，⽑孔张开

of rocking water, pores open

迎接⼀切将要到来的事物。

to whatever may come.

⼀阵嗡鸣，⽼旧管道传来长久哀响——

A whirr, long whine from aging pipes—

蟋蟀？被困的昆⾍？

cricket? imprisoned insect?

还是邻居锯⼦的回声

echo of neighbor's saw

穿透尚未封冻的⼟地？

through ground not yet frozen?

我想那是我的灵，

I think it is my spirit,

正在归家——

coming home,

它曾被我推远，正如我推开

pushed away as I push

所有试图靠近的⼈，

all who would draw near,

那部分⾃⼰，已迷失太久

that part of me so long lost

以致我害怕再难寻回，

that I fear never to find again,

迷失太久，以致我⼏乎

so long lost that I scarce

忘却它的存在。

remember its being.

我曾寻找

I have looked

于灭顶之失的战栗中，

in quake of overwhelming loss,

于⽇⽇袭来的恶风⾥，

in vile wind that assails me daily,

于愤怒之⽕，于刺⿐的闷燃，

in fire of anger, in acrid smoulder,

于残焰的苦涩渣滓中。

in bitter lees of dying flame.

我⼀直在寻找你，

I have looked for you,

我⾃⼰的灵。

spirit of myself.

此刻我听见你

I hear you now

正在归家——

coming home

在这房屋静谧的沉降中，

in the quiet settling of this house,

在这热⽔轻柔的拍打间，

in the lap of this hot water,

在此刻全然的凝定⾥。

in this being still.