I who have never had a job
I who have never had a trade
who have felt weak when faced with any competitor,
who before any competitor have felt weak
who squandered all the qualifications I had for life,
who have lost the best qualifications for life
who can scarcely arrive at a place without wishing to leave,
who as soon as I arrive at a place already want to leave (thinking that moving is a solution)
(believing that to move on is a solution),
who have been denied in advance and scoffed at by the fitter
I who have been rejected in advance and helped in such a way as to humiliate me,
who lean on walls so as not to fall down
I who keep close to walls so as not to fall down entirely,
who am an object of laughter to myself
who am the butt of my own ridicule,
who believed my father was eternal
who thought that my father was eternal,
who have been humiliated by professors of literature
who have been humiliated by teachers of literature,
who asked one day what I could do to help and the answer was a guffaw
who asked on an occasion if I could help out and was greeted with a guffaw,
who will never be able to set up a home, nor be brilliant nor triumph in life
who will never be able to get a home together or be brilliant, or triumph in life,
who have been deserted by many people because I hardly speak
I who have been abandoned by many people because I can hardly speak,
who am ashamed of acts I didn’t commit
who carry the shame for acts I have not committed,
who have nearly started running down the street
who, at the drop of a hat, would start running down the street,
who have lost a center I never had
I who have lost a centre I never had,
who have become a laughing stock for many because I live in limbo
who have become the laughing stock of many people because I live in limbo,
who will never find anyone to put up with me
I who was passed over to make way for persons more wretched than myself,
who was passed over in favor of people more wretched than me
who am fed up with receiving advice from others even more lethargic than myself,
who will go on like this all my life and next year will be derided many times more in my ridiculous ambition
('You're sluggish, shake yourself a bit, wake up'),who am tired of receiving advice from others more lethargic than me («You’re very slow, get a move on, wake up»)
I who will never be able to travel to India,
who will never be able to travel to India
who have received favours without giving anything in exchange
who have received favors without giving anything in return
who am blown from one end of a city to the other like a feather,
who go from one side of the city to another like a feather
I who have no personality nor wish to have one,
who let others sway me
who all day long cloak my rebellion,
who have no personality and don’t want one
I who have not gone to join the guerrillas,
who keep a lid all day on my rebellion
who have done nothing for my people,
who haven’t gone to join the guerrillas
who am not a member of a terrorist group
who have done nothing for my people
and who despair about all those things
who don’t belong to the FALN and despair over all these things and others it would take forever to enumerate
who can’t get out of my prison
And about others which, if I were to enumerate them, would keep me here all day and all night,
who have been discharged everywhere because I’m useless
I who cannot leave my prison,
who in reality haven’t succeeded in getting married or going to Paris or having one serene day.
who have received the thumbs down everywhere for my uselessness,
who refuse to recognize facts
who, in actual fact, have not been able to get married or go to Paris ar have a peaceful day,
who always slobber over my story
who refuse to recognise facts,
who was born an imbecile and worse than an imbecile
who am always drooling over my personal story,
who lost the thread of the argument that was being worked out in me and haven’t been able to find in again
I who am an imbecile, an inveterate imbecile
who don’t cry when I feel like it
who lost the thread af the speech that was being delivered within me and then got lost myself,
who arrive late for everything
I who do not weep when I feel a desire to do so
who have been ruined by all those marches and countermarches
and arrive late far everything,
who long for perfect immobility and impeccable haste
I who have been ruined by so much coming and going,
who am not what I am nor what I’m not
who yearn for perfect stasis and impeccable mavement,
who in spite of all am satanically proud although at certain times I’ve been humble enough to match stones
who am neither what I am nor what I am not,
who have lived fifteen years in the same circle
who, in spite of everything, have a satanic pride,
who thought I was predestinated for something unusual and have achieved nothing
Although at certain moments I have felt so humbled
who will never wear a tie
that I am no better than the stones I tread,
who can’t find my body
that I have lived in the same circle for fifteen years
who have perceived my falsity in flashes and haven’t been able to knock myself down, sweep all away and create from my indolence, my floating and my straying a new freshness, and obstinately commit suicide within hand’s reach
that I believed I was predestined for something out of the ordinary and have achieved nothing,
I will pick myself up more ridiculous than ever to go on mocking others and myself till judgment day.
I who shall never wear a tie,
I who cannot find my own body,
I who have perceived in flashes the sham that I am,
(I haven't been able to knock myself down, sweep myself away and create
out of my indolence, my floating, my eccentricity a new freshness),
and obstinately refuse to take my life with whatever is at hand,
I shall get up from the ground more ridiculous than ever
so as to go an macking myself and others,
until the day af reckoning.