I who have never had a trade
I who have never had a job
who before any competitor have felt weak
who have felt weak when faced with any competitor,
who have lost the best qualifications for life
who squandered all the qualifications I had for life,
who as soon as I arrive at a place already want to leave (thinking that moving is a solution)
who can scarcely arrive at a place without wishing to leave,
who have been denied in advance and scoffed at by the fitter
(believing that to move on is a solution),
who lean on walls so as not to fall down
I who have been rejected in advance and helped in such a way as to humiliate me,
who am an object of laughter to myself
I who keep close to walls so as not to fall down entirely,
who believed my father was eternal
who am the butt of my own ridicule,
who have been humiliated by professors of literature
who thought that my father was eternal,
who asked one day what I could do to help and the answer was a guffaw
who have been humiliated by teachers of literature,
who will never be able to set up a home, nor be brilliant nor triumph in life
who asked on an occasion if I could help out and was greeted with a guffaw,
who have been deserted by many people because I hardly speak
who will never be able to get a home together or be brilliant, or triumph in life,
who am ashamed of acts I didn’t commit
I who have been abandoned by many people because I can hardly speak,
who have nearly started running down the street
who carry the shame for acts I have not committed,
who have lost a center I never had
who, at the drop of a hat, would start running down the street,
who have become a laughing stock for many because I live in limbo
I who have lost a centre I never had,
who will never find anyone to put up with me
who have become the laughing stock of many people because I live in limbo,
who was passed over in favor of people more wretched than me
I who was passed over to make way for persons more wretched than myself,
who will go on like this all my life and next year will be derided many times more in my ridiculous ambition
who am fed up with receiving advice from others even more lethargic than myself,
who am tired of receiving advice from others more lethargic than me («You’re very slow, get a move on, wake up»)
('You're sluggish, shake yourself a bit, wake up'),who will never be able to travel to India
I who will never be able to travel to India,
who have received favors without giving anything in return
who have received favours without giving anything in exchange
who go from one side of the city to another like a feather
who am blown from one end of a city to the other like a feather,
who let others sway me
I who have no personality nor wish to have one,
who have no personality and don’t want one
who all day long cloak my rebellion,
who keep a lid all day on my rebellion
I who have not gone to join the guerrillas,
who haven’t gone to join the guerrillas
who have done nothing for my people,
who have done nothing for my people
who am not a member of a terrorist group
who don’t belong to the FALN and despair over all these things and others it would take forever to enumerate
and who despair about all those things
who can’t get out of my prison
who have been discharged everywhere because I’m useless
And about others which, if I were to enumerate them, would keep me here all day and all night,
who in reality haven’t succeeded in getting married or going to Paris or having one serene day.
I who cannot leave my prison,
who refuse to recognize facts
who have received the thumbs down everywhere for my uselessness,
who always slobber over my story
who, in actual fact, have not been able to get married or go to Paris ar have a peaceful day,
who was born an imbecile and worse than an imbecile
who refuse to recognise facts,
who lost the thread of the argument that was being worked out in me and haven’t been able to find in again
who am always drooling over my personal story,
who don’t cry when I feel like it
I who am an imbecile, an inveterate imbecile
who arrive late for everything
who lost the thread af the speech that was being delivered within me and then got lost myself,
who have been ruined by all those marches and countermarches
I who do not weep when I feel a desire to do so
who long for perfect immobility and impeccable haste
and arrive late far everything,
who am not what I am nor what I’m not
I who have been ruined by so much coming and going,
who in spite of all am satanically proud although at certain times I’ve been humble enough to match stones
who yearn for perfect stasis and impeccable mavement,
who have lived fifteen years in the same circle
who am neither what I am nor what I am not,
who thought I was predestinated for something unusual and have achieved nothing
who, in spite of everything, have a satanic pride,
who will never wear a tie
Although at certain moments I have felt so humbled
who can’t find my body
that I am no better than the stones I tread,
who have perceived my falsity in flashes and haven’t been able to knock myself down, sweep all away and create from my indolence, my floating and my straying a new freshness, and obstinately commit suicide within hand’s reach
that I have lived in the same circle for fifteen years
I will pick myself up more ridiculous than ever to go on mocking others and myself till judgment day.
that I believed I was predestined for something out of the ordinary and have achieved nothing,
I who shall never wear a tie,
I who cannot find my own body,
I who have perceived in flashes the sham that I am,
(I haven't been able to knock myself down, sweep myself away and create
out of my indolence, my floating, my eccentricity a new freshness),
and obstinately refuse to take my life with whatever is at hand,
I shall get up from the ground more ridiculous than ever
so as to go an macking myself and others,
until the day af reckoning.