I who have never had a trade
我从未有过正经职业
who before any competitor have felt weak
我在所有竞争者面前都会感到虚弱
who have lost the best qualifications for life
我失去了一生中最好的头衔
who as soon as I arrive at a place already want to leave (thinking that moving is a solution)
我一到新的地方就想离开(相信搬家是个解决方法)
who have been denied in advance and scoffed at by the fitter
我已被提前淘汰,被最优秀的人嘲笑
who lean on walls so as not to fall down
我紧靠着墙,为了避免从所有地方坠落
who am an object of laughter to myself
我是我自嘲的对象
who believed my father was eternal
我曾以为父亲是永恒的
who have been humiliated by professors of literature
我被文学教授们耻笑
who asked one day what I could do to help and the answer was a guffaw
有一天我问,需要帮助吗?回复是哈哈大笑
who will never be able to set up a home, nor be brilliant nor triumph in life
我永远不能组建家庭,不能变得杰出,也不能在生活里失败
who have been deserted by many people because I hardly speak
我被很多人抛弃因为我几乎不说话
who am ashamed of acts I didn’t commit
我会为自己没做过的事感到羞耻
who have nearly started running down the street
我差点就忍不住在街上狂奔起来
who have lost a center I never had
我失去了一个从来没有拥有过的中心
who have become a laughing stock for many because I live in limbo
我成了很多人的笑柄因为活在社会边缘
who will never find anyone to put up with me
我找不到任何人来支持我
who was passed over in favor of people more wretched than me
我被忽视因为有比我更可怜的人
who will go on like this all my life and next year will be derided many times more in my ridiculous ambition
我一生都将如此,明年我会因为我的抱负而遭受更多嘲笑
who am tired of receiving advice from others more lethargic than me («You’re very slow, get a move on, wake up»)
我已经不想听比我昏庸的人的建议了
who will never be able to travel to India
(“您思想太僵化了,醒醒吧”)
who have received favors without giving anything in return
我永远不能去印度旅行
who go from one side of the city to another like a feather
我接受了恩惠却从未回报
who let others sway me
我像一支钢笔从城市这一头走到那一头
who have no personality and don’t want one
我被别人带走了
who keep a lid all day on my rebellion
我没有个性也不想拥有
who haven’t gone to join the guerrillas
我整天都在压抑自己反抗的心
who have done nothing for my people
我没有加入游击队
who don’t belong to the FALN and despair over all these things and others it would take forever to enumerate
我没为我的家乡做过任何事
who can’t get out of my prison
我不是“委内瑞拉民族解放武装力量”成员,我对那些事以及其他所有事感到绝望
who have been discharged everywhere because I’m useless
其他事不计其数
who in reality haven’t succeeded in getting married or going to Paris or having one serene day.
我不能离开我的监狱
who refuse to recognize facts
因为没用我被所有地方辞退
who always slobber over my story
事实上我没法结婚没法去巴黎也没法过一天安静的日子
who was born an imbecile and worse than an imbecile
我拒绝承认这些事
who lost the thread of the argument that was being worked out in me and haven’t been able to find in again
我总是迷恋自己的叙事
who don’t cry when I feel like it
我很愚蠢,出生时就是个蠢货
who arrive late for everything
我演讲的思路断了找不回来
who have been ruined by all those marches and countermarches
我想哭的时候我不哭
who long for perfect immobility and impeccable haste
我永远迟到
who am not what I am nor what I’m not
我被如此多的前进和后退摧毁
who in spite of all am satanically proud although at certain times I’ve been humble enough to match stones
我渴望完美的静止和无暇的匆忙
who have lived fifteen years in the same circle
我不是我,也不是非我
who thought I was predestinated for something unusual and have achieved nothing
尽管如此我有一股撒旦式的骄傲,虽然在某些时刻
who will never wear a tie
我卑微到把自己与石头相比
who can’t find my body
我在同一个怪圈里生活了十五年
who have perceived my falsity in flashes and haven’t been able to knock myself down, sweep all away and create from my indolence, my floating and my straying a new freshness, and obstinately commit suicide within hand’s reach
我曾自命不凡,却一事无成
I will pick myself up more ridiculous than ever to go on mocking others and myself till judgment day.
我永远不用打领带
我找不到我的身体
我在闪电中看到我的虚伪,我无法推翻自己,
无法扫清一切,无法从我的懒惰、沉浮、
迷途中获得新生,我固执地
在触手可及之处自杀
更加荒谬地,我将从地上爬起,继续嘲笑其他人
嘲笑我自己,直至审判日的到来。
*委内瑞拉民族解放武装力量(Fuerzas Armadas de Liberación Nacional,FALN),是委内瑞拉历史上的一支共产主义游击队,活跃于1962年—1969年,以推翻委内瑞拉政府为目标。