在你离世一年之后，亲爱的Y.Z.，

A year after your death, dear Y.Z.,

我从休斯顿飞到了加利福尼亚，

I flew from Houston to San Francisco

还记得我们在第三大道的会面

And remembered our meeting on Third Avenue

那时我们是那么喜欢对方。

When we took such a liking to each other.

那时你告诉我，你小时候从未见过森林，

You told me then that as a child you had never seen a forest,

窗外只有一堵砖墙，

Only a brick wall outside a window,

我为你难过，因为

And I felt sorry for you because

我们应得的，却被剥夺了那么多。

So much disinheritance is our portion.

如果你是国王的女儿，你也不会知道。

If you were the king’s daughter, you didn’t know it.

没有自己的祖国，两河交汇处的城堡，

No fatherland with a castle at the meeting of two rivers,

没有六月的游行在燃香的蓝色氤氲中进行。

No procession in June in the blue smoke of incense.

你是谦卑的，没有发问。

You were humble and did not ask questions.

你只是耸了耸肩：我究竟是什么人

You shrugged: who after all am I

戴着桃金娘花环走在辉煌中？

To walk in splendor wearing a myrtle wreath?

耽于声色，容易受伤，可怜，爱说反话，

Fleshly, woundable, pitiable, ironic,

随便地和男人约会，根本就不上心，

You went with men casually, out of unconcern,

你喜欢抽烟，像在给癌症献殷勤。

And smoked as if you were courting cancer.

我知道你的梦想：拥有一个家，

I knew your dream: to have a home

带有窗帘和需要在早晨浇水的花。

With curtains and a flower to be watered in the morning.

这梦想就要实现，却徒劳无功。

That dream was to come true, to no avail.

还有我们的过去：鸟儿的交配

And our past moment: the mating of birds

没有意图，没有深思熟虑，仿佛在空中

Without intent, reflection, nearly airborne

在秋日山茱萸和枫树的盛景之上；

Over the splendor of autumn dogwoods and maples;

即使在我们的记忆里，几乎也没留下痕迹。

Even in our memory it left hardly a trace.

我心怀感激，因我从你身上学到了某样东西，

I am grateful, for I learned something from you,

虽然我无法用词语捕捉它：

Though I haven’t been able to capture it in words:

在这地球上，没有手掌也没有权杖，

On this earth, where there is no palm and no scepter,

在帐篷一样卷起的天空下，

Under a sky that rolls up like a tent,

有些对于我们人类的同情，有些善良，

Some compassion for us people, some goodness

简单地说，还有温柔，亲爱的Y.Z.。

And, simply, tenderness, dear Y. Z.

附言：我所在意的比词语暗示的更多。

P.S. Really I am more concerned than words would indicate.

我为我们所有人履行一个可怜的仪式。

I perform a pitiful rite for all of us.

我想让每个人都知道他们是国王的孩子

I would like everyone to know they are the king’s children

并确信拥有不朽的灵魂，

And to be sure of their immortal souls,

亦即，相信那属于自己的，不可磨灭，

I.e., to believe that what is most their own is imperishable

持存，如他们触摸到的事物，

And persists like the things they touch,

现在我看到，在时间的边界之外：

Now seen by me beyond time’s border:

她的梳子、她的乳霜，还有她的口红

Her comb, her tube of cream, and her lipstick

放在一张超越尘世的桌子上。

On an extramundane table.