Friend of my soul, I want to be

I want to be the grieving gardener

the tearful gardener of the earth

of the earth you fill and fertilize,

you occupy, and enrich, all too soon.

	my dearest friend, so soon.

My grief without purpose feeding

Mingling my helpless sorrow with the rain,

the rain, the snail-shells and organs,

the snails, and all the organs of your body,

I’ll give your heart for food

	I shall feed your heart

to the desolate poppies.

to the drooping poppies. Pain bunches up

Such sorrow gathers in my chest,

between my ribs till every breath I draw

that I mourn with painful breath.

	becomes an aching stitch.

A harsh slap, an icy blow,

A brutal slam, a heavy frozen fist,

an invisible, murderous axe-stroke,

a sudden silent killing axe-blow sent

a brutal thrust has felled you.

	you toppling to the ground.

There’s no expanse big enough for my hurt,

Nothing gapes wider than my wounded cry,

I weep for my misfortune and yours together

this grief that plummets down to roots of death

and I feel your death more than I do my life.

	sunk deeper than my life.

I walk on the tracks of the dead,

Across the stubble of the dead I walk

and without warmth from anyone, or consolation

uncomforted, leaving my heart behind,

I go from my feelings to my work.

	and go about my business.

Too soon death lifted in flight,

Death touched you as it fled, so soon -oh, dawn

too soon the dawn broke,

shot up so soon, so soon, and you were hurtled

too soon you’re surrounded with earth.

	in this pit of earth.

No forgiveness for lovesick death,

I shan't forgive death's last caress; I shan't

no forgiveness for thankless life,

forgive life's heedlessness- no, not the earth

no forgiveness for earth or nothingness.

	nor nothingness itself.

A storm rises, in my hands,

My hands scoop up a storm of lightning, boulders,

of rocks, lightning bolts, harsh axes,

strident axes thirsting, hungering

thirsty and hungry for catastrophes.

	for catastrophes.

I want to gnaw at the earth with my teeth,

I want to dig the earth up with my teeth.

I want to take the earth apart bit by bit

I want to scrape the dirt off bit by bit

with dry, burning bites.

	with sharp and burning teeth.

I want to mine the earth till I find you,

I'll hollow out this pit until I find you,

and kiss your noble skull,

kiss your noble head, ungag your mouth,

and un-shroud you, and return you.

	and bring you back to life.

You’ll return to my garden, my fig tree:

Back to my orchard and the fig tree where

In the high trellises of flowers,

your soul will brush its wings high up among

birdlike your soul, the hive

	the blossoms, gathering

of angelic waxes and labours.

the wax and honey of angelic hives;

You’ll return to the enamoured farm-hands’

back to the murmuring at windows where

ploughshares’ lullaby.

	the country lovers meet.

You’ll brighten the shadow of my brow,

You'll bask beneath my sheltered glance and hear

and your girl and the bees will go along,

your sweetheart and the bees exhaust the theme

on both sides, arguing over your blood.

	of your nobility.

My eager voice of a lover

Greedily my love cries out to you.

calls from a field of foaming almonds,

It calls your crumpled velvet heart: come to

to your heart, already ruined velvet.

	these drifting almond sprays;

I summon you to the winged souls

come to the rosy petaled souls among

of the creamy almond blossoms,

these curdling almond trees. I need you here.

we’ve so many things to speak of,

We've still so many things to talk about,

friend, friend of my soul.

	my friend, my dearest friend.