I want to be the grieving gardener

Friend of my soul, I want to be

of the earth you fill and fertilize,

the tearful gardener of the earth

	my dearest friend, so soon.

you occupy, and enrich, all too soon.

Mingling my helpless sorrow with the rain,

My grief without purpose feeding

the snails, and all the organs of your body,

the rain, the snail-shells and organs,

	I shall feed your heart

I’ll give your heart for food

to the drooping poppies. Pain bunches up

to the desolate poppies.

between my ribs till every breath I draw

Such sorrow gathers in my chest,

	becomes an aching stitch.

that I mourn with painful breath.

A brutal slam, a heavy frozen fist,

A harsh slap, an icy blow,

a sudden silent killing axe-blow sent

an invisible, murderous axe-stroke,

	you toppling to the ground.

a brutal thrust has felled you.

Nothing gapes wider than my wounded cry,

There’s no expanse big enough for my hurt,

this grief that plummets down to roots of death

I weep for my misfortune and yours together

	sunk deeper than my life.

and I feel your death more than I do my life.

Across the stubble of the dead I walk

I walk on the tracks of the dead,

uncomforted, leaving my heart behind,

and without warmth from anyone, or consolation

	and go about my business.

I go from my feelings to my work.

Death touched you as it fled, so soon -oh, dawn

Too soon death lifted in flight,

shot up so soon, so soon, and you were hurtled

too soon the dawn broke,

	in this pit of earth.

too soon you’re surrounded with earth.

I shan't forgive death's last caress; I shan't

No forgiveness for lovesick death,

forgive life's heedlessness- no, not the earth

no forgiveness for thankless life,

	nor nothingness itself.

no forgiveness for earth or nothingness.

My hands scoop up a storm of lightning, boulders,

A storm rises, in my hands,

strident axes thirsting, hungering

of rocks, lightning bolts, harsh axes,

	for catastrophes.

thirsty and hungry for catastrophes.

I want to dig the earth up with my teeth.

I want to gnaw at the earth with my teeth,

I want to scrape the dirt off bit by bit

I want to take the earth apart bit by bit

	with sharp and burning teeth.

with dry, burning bites.

I'll hollow out this pit until I find you,

I want to mine the earth till I find you,

kiss your noble head, ungag your mouth,

and kiss your noble skull,

	and bring you back to life.

and un-shroud you, and return you.

Back to my orchard and the fig tree where

You’ll return to my garden, my fig tree:

your soul will brush its wings high up among

In the high trellises of flowers,

	the blossoms, gathering

birdlike your soul, the hive

the wax and honey of angelic hives;

of angelic waxes and labours.

back to the murmuring at windows where

You’ll return to the enamoured farm-hands’

	the country lovers meet.

ploughshares’ lullaby.

You'll bask beneath my sheltered glance and hear

You’ll brighten the shadow of my brow,

your sweetheart and the bees exhaust the theme

and your girl and the bees will go along,

	of your nobility.

on both sides, arguing over your blood.

Greedily my love cries out to you.

My eager voice of a lover

It calls your crumpled velvet heart: come to

calls from a field of foaming almonds,

	these drifting almond sprays;

to your heart, already ruined velvet.

come to the rosy petaled souls among

I summon you to the winged souls

these curdling almond trees. I need you here.

of the creamy almond blossoms,

We've still so many things to talk about,

we’ve so many things to speak of,

	my friend, my dearest friend.

friend, friend of my soul.