In Memoriam A. H. H. OBIIT MDCCCXXXIII: 41丁尼生

悼念集(41)张定浩 译


THY spirit ere our fatal loss
在我们不可避免的丧失之前,你的精神
    Did ever rise from high to higher;
      的确不断地从高处升向更高处;
    As mounts the heavenward altar-fire,
      如同朝向天空的爱的火焰,
As flies the lighter thro' the gross.
如更轻盈者飞越芸芸众生。

But thou art turn'd to something strange,
但你被转向一些陌生的事物,
    And I have lost the links that bound
      而我已失去那些联结你变化的
    Thy changes; here upon the ground,
      纽带;我只能在此,在大地之上,
No more partaker of thy change.
无法再参与你的变化。

Deep folly! yet that this could be —
多么荒唐!然而可能就是这样——
    That I could wing my will with might
      我曾尽力鼓舞起意志
    To leap the grades of life and light,
      去跃过生命与光的等级,
And flash at once, my friend, to thee.
飞闪到你身边,我的朋友。

For tho' my nature rarely yields
因为尽管我的天性很少会屈服于
    To that vague fear implied in death;
      蕴藏在死亡里的不确定的恐惧;
    Nor shudders at the gulfs beneath,
      也不会临渊战栗于
The howlings from forgotten fields;
那从忘川传来的嚎叫和哭泣;

Yet oft when sundown skirts the moor
然而很多时候,当落日环绕荒野,
    An inner trouble I behold,
      我审视内心的烦恼,发觉
    A spectral doubt which makes me cold,
      我将不再是你的友伴,
That I shall be thy mate no more,
这种幽灵似的疑虑使我寒冷,

Tho' following with an upward mind
纵使我,以上升的心智
    The wonders that have come to thee,
      跟随那些降临在你身上的奇迹,
    Thro' all the secular to-be,
      不停穿越所有的来世,
But evermore a life behind.
也始终无法赶上你,无法一起生活。


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