多年，我将语言深埋舌下

For so many years I’ve held words beneath my tongue

畏惧它的流露。

like I ’m scared of letting them go.

一连串的善意谎言、真相的莫辨

Here is a collection of the white-lies, the half-truths, the

承诺、圆括号、不由衷的诋贬

promises and the parentheses and the half-wishes on the half-

我以为早已丢弃的信笺，自始至终，

stars and the letters that I thought I had thrown out, but remained

却仍残留在我的咽喉后面。还有未曾开口的

anyways, in the back of my throat. Here is when I didn’t tell you

我爱你，还有无法坦白，我已不再爱你的

that I loved you, and here is when I didn’t tell you that I unloved

时候。所有一切，层层交叠，

you. Here’s all of it, folded neatly,

是如此苦涩，也这般甜美

so bitter and so sweet

我的味蕾已背叛思维。

that my taste buds are revolting against me.

我记起动物躯体的骨骼。我知道，

I have memorized the bones of an animal’s body. I’ve

蛇卸下关节放低下颚，从而可以接连吞噬更大的猎物。

learned that the lower jaws of snakes unhinge so that they can keep

daring one another to eat larger and larger animals.

羊。小鹿般眼神的孩子们。狐狸

有着银色尾巴。山中的幼狮：小爪、胡须

Sheep. Doe-eyed children. Foxes

和一切。

with silver tails. A mountain lion cub: paws and whiskers

and all.

我知道你将如何审视它鼓胀变形的身体，它将如何

累日累月地去消化猎物，直至最终变回蛇之本身

I learned how you can see the bulge of their bodies, how it can

take weeks and days for the animals to be digested, for the snake

但，人却被告之我们有更迅速的新陈代谢，我们的身体

to be just a snake once more.

可以承载被容纳进来的万物。所有一切都将在伤害我们至深之前

被逐出体外。烟。糜肉。

But humans are told that we have faster metabolisms, that our bodies

爱。

can handle the things that we put inside of it. Everything leaves

炽热。

before it hurts us too bad. Cigarettes. Meat.

Love.

万物，除了语言。

Heat.

语言，它

Everything, but words.

在我舌下腐烂，言语如反刍般接连不断

我再也不能闭合下颚——

Words that

如象般巨大的词量，如长颈鹿颈项般漫长的剖白

rot beneath my tongue, words that keep coming up

它们纷至沓来，将我粉身碎骨。言语击碎

again like cud, that I can no longer hold onto without

我的每颗牙齿，再次，为寻你而来，因为

my jaws unhinging——with vocabulary the size of elephants

and confessions the length of giraffe’s necks breaking

真理的利齿刺进我的舌头，

every bone in my body as they resurface. Words that have broken

我的身体在乞求着自由

through every one of my teeth to find you, again, because

将那可怜的

动物们释放，安然无恙

the truth is sinking its fangs into my tongue and

my body is begging for me to open up,

to let the poor

animals go unharmed.