january

I am that smudge of yellow in a quick portrait of the sea

insane is one word for a naked woman on a winter beach

my feet are the first to accuse

as I remove my socks and shoes

hush feet you will get your rush of blood

rush of blood that's one reason but the last

the first is cloth

how beloved it becomes as I take it off

beloved hat beloved scarf beloved sweater and top

beloved trousers beloved longjohns beloved underpants

how fine you all were to stand between me and the wind

how fine you are to wait

if ever there was a doubt about where I ended

the wind now makes it clear

I am sharpened

sharp my arms my cheeks my every naked part

sharked from this pause I run and there is no looking back

I would turn to salt

the moment I touch water I am under eyes open

and this is it

the dip

infinite instant

a lit blue

what the wind made sharp

the water now dissolves

my every particle finds a new molecule

blur that was my arm

disperse

disperse fingers and face

if I end

it is miles away

in every direction

cold reaches even

the tenders of my teeth

then I am above again a pride of organs

like sisters close in age and both precocious

my lungs and heart vie to prove their worth

I admire the grabbiness of lungs

I admire my thorough heart

I admire most that they are inseparable

what the lung grabs the heart uses

and drenches too the lung with blood

if ever there was a doubt

I am alive right now

smudge of yellow in a portrait of the sea

and she might be one of several myths

this specimen of warm bloodedness

stepping in over the waves

her true skin blubber born as she was under the fish

feet did I not promise you would tingle

I don't run now

for I have won a moment beyond cold

but the wind is quick to carve my shape

so I accept the embrace of my clothes

sandy underpants sandy longjohns trousers

top and sweater hat and scarf

on the bus I am just another someone

looking out the window at winter

but some days I have a secret

if you licked me you would know