my life is a typo

my cat has been biting my cheeks lately

she sits on my face and bites

i look at her and show her my face is sad

i say ‘look, my face is sad and it’s all your fault’

she makes a face like ‘oh’

i told my friend about my cat

she said ‘your life is pretty much a bestseller’

i thought ‘life is shit’

then i realized that most bestsellers are shit

she was right

will you pay me for living?

i’m a bestseller