“And then we cowards” by Cesare Pavese

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“And then we cowards” by Cesare Pavese

T.

MARGINALIA •

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I have a headache the size of the ocean. No regrets, and the cup of pencils I threw across my shoulder in a fit of sweeping rage was worth it. Some things I learned last night: the world doesn’t stop, not ever. Not even for this. I only wished it would, but I don’t hold it in my hands. Loneliness sweeps through the body at any given time. It will leave only when it is done.

I do not have the strength to talk about it any more, so maybe I won’t. I can’t move on, not just yet, but the crying is done. The crying is done.

“And then we cowards”

Cesare Pavese

Translated by Geoffrey Brock

And then we cowards

who loved the whispering

evening, the houses,

the paths by the river,

the dirty red lights

of those places, the sweet

soundless sorrow—

we reached our hands out

toward the living chain

in silence, but our heart

startled us with blood,

and no more sweetness then,

no more losing ourselves

on the path by the river—

no longer slaves, we knew

we were alone and alive.

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This poem appeared in

Disaffections: Complete Poems 1930-1950 by Cesare Pavese, translated by Geoffrey Brock

, published by Copper Canyon Press, 2002. Shared here with profound gratitude.

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