Still Looking Out for Number One

Now that you’ve gone away for five days,

I’ll smoke all the cigarettes I want,

where I want. Make biscuits and eat them

with jam and fat bacon. Loaf. Indulge

myself. Walk on the beach if I feel

like it. And I feel like it, alone and

thinking about when I was young. The people

then who loved me beyond reason.

And how I loved them above all others.

Except one. I’m saying I’ll do everything

I want here while you’re away!

But there’s one thing I won’t do.

I won’t sleep in our bed without you.

No. It doesn’t please me to do so.

I’ll sleep where I damn well feel like it –

where I sleep best when you’re away

and I can’t hold you the way I do.

On the broken sofa in my study.