起初我感到孤独，但后来我开始

At first I was lonely, but then I was

好奇。最初的症结，是我看不见

curious. The original fault was that I could

事物的线条。我母亲能。

not see the lines of things. My mother could.

她能看见形状、线条与阴影，

She could see shapes and lines and shadows,

而我所能见的，只有记忆：那物件

but all I could see was memory, what had been

在被放到茶几或床头柜之前，

done to the object before it was placed on

经历过什么。我能感知到

the coffee table or the nightstand. I could sense

它底下藏着生命。正因

that it had a life underneath it. Because

如此，我以为自己或许不擅长观看。甚至

of this, I thought I was perhaps bad at seeing. Even

颜色也不是颜色，而是一种情绪。那盏灯

color was not color, but a mood. The lamp was

郁郁寡欢，烛台沉郁、粗鲁，旧蜡

sullen, a candlestick brooding and rude with its old

正从边沿碎落，不是火焰，也不是对火焰的

wax crumbling at its edges, not flame, not a promise

许诺。那我该如何去感受？关于

of flame. How was I supposed to feel then? About

在这个世界里走动？我如何能触碰任何东西

moving in the world? How could I touch anything

或任何人，而不让整个时间的重量

or anyone without the weight of all of time shifting

流经我们？我不是，或自认为不是，在

through us? I was not, or I did not think I was, making

编故事；世界曾是这般，毋宁说，世界

up stories, it was how the world was, or rather it is how

一直就是如此。我只是到现在才更擅长假装

the world is. I've only now become better at pretending

事物有边缘，有界限；假装如果我触碰

that there are edges, boundaries, that if I touch

某物，它不会总是反过来触碰我。

something it cannot always touch me back.