The first ten years of my life,

在我第一個十年

as the moon exposed its silent craters

月亮向我顯現了它寂靜的環形山

to my small city far below,

而月亮之下，我居住的小城

the streets filled with shouts,

驅魔的鑼鼓喧響，大街上叫聲一片

gongs and drums drove out devils,

我瘸腳的舅舅在院子裏罵人

my lame uncle cursed in the yard,

我一不小心領教了白公雞的接吻

and careless, I got kissed by the white rooster’s beak.

一個小女孩在我面前脫下褲子

A little girl pulled her pants down before me,

我爬樓梯時撞見自殺者的陰魂

and once I ran into the ghost of a suicide on the stairs,

我被告知別害怕

but my father raised me high overhead

我被父親高舉過頭頂

and told me not to fear.

冰雹在通往公社的路上跳得精疲力竭

Hailstones bounced their lives out on the walk to the commune,

我走進純潔的學校學習革命

where I entered the immaculate school

to learn revolution.

在我第二個十年

全世界的蟋蟀和我一起成長

In my twenties,

一起蔑視困難，一起愛上暴力和月光

every cricket in the world grew with me—

一隻老虎出現在我的門口

together we laughed off trouble,

我聞到了肉味

falling in love with violence and moonlight.

我像一隻兔子跳到別人的門口

When a tiger loomed in my doorway,

看到男人和女人在準備節日的盛裝

I smelled meat

我偷盜，別人也偷盜

and leaped like a rabbit at others’ doors.

我燒死麻雀，別人也燒死麻雀

I saw men and women dress for festivals,

生活如此，而我有突出的才華

I stole, others stole,

我描畫理想的山水風光

I burned sparrows, others burned sparrows.

我沒有太多的罪行要求世人原諒

Such was life, but my talent

painted perfect landscapes,

一些門關閉了，另一些門尚未打開

and sought no forgiveness.

第三個十年適於出遊和讀書

我折磨起自己來理所當然

Some doors closed, some were yet unopened;

我歌唱愛情的眉宇和膝蓋

my thirties a time to travel, time to read.

卻從未在大街上看到天女下凡

Of course I tortured myself

朋友們來了，生機勃勃，隨即杳無蹤影

singing for love’s eyebrows and knees,

留下我無法穿戴的襯衫和眼鏡

but no goddess wafted to my street.

批判的鋒芒招來了災難

Friends showed up, vital and alive,

像肉體中的暴亂招來了大雨

then vanished with their shadows,

我扛著一把雨傘登上小丘

leaving eyeglasses, shirts I couldn’t wear.

一隻小鳥為尋找一個人而迎著雷鳴電閃

The sword of criticism draws disaster

在雨中飛旋

like pangs in the body bring on heavy rain.

I shouldered an umbrella and climbed a hill

怎麼能既懷疑自己又懷疑世界？

where a small bird circled in the rain,

你無法叫大雨停住，叫飛鳥落在手上

welcoming thunder and lightning.

思想像一把刀，僅僅一閃

便使我的靈魂大汗淋漓

How to suspect oneself as well as the world?

我趕走三十個高談闊論的哲學家

Ask the rain to stop pouring,

對守護我的影子說：對不起

the bird to flutter to your hand.

鹹的汗，鹹的淚，肉體還能是什麼味道？

Thought is a knife—one glint

黑夜像一連串陳設相同的房間

and my soul broke into a sweat.

我穿行其中，卻好像在一個房間裏

I drove back thirty spouting philosophers,

來回踱步。從早到晚

begged pardon of my guardian shadow.

關心未來說明我心中不快——

Salt sweat, salt tears, how else would a body taste?

大地運行只是我向無覺察——

Night was a string of the same furnished rooms

I paced all day till dawn.

Giving a damn for the future meant I was unhappy—

the great earth turned but who felt it?