在我第一個十年

The first ten years of my life,

月亮向我顯現了它寂靜的環形山

as the moon exposed its silent craters

而月亮之下，我居住的小城

to my small city far below,

驅魔的鑼鼓喧響，大街上叫聲一片

the streets filled with shouts,

我瘸腳的舅舅在院子裏罵人

gongs and drums drove out devils,

我一不小心領教了白公雞的接吻

my lame uncle cursed in the yard,

一個小女孩在我面前脫下褲子

and careless, I got kissed by the white rooster’s beak.

我爬樓梯時撞見自殺者的陰魂

A little girl pulled her pants down before me,

我被告知別害怕

and once I ran into the ghost of a suicide on the stairs,

我被父親高舉過頭頂

but my father raised me high overhead

冰雹在通往公社的路上跳得精疲力竭

and told me not to fear.

我走進純潔的學校學習革命

Hailstones bounced their lives out on the walk to the commune,

where I entered the immaculate school

在我第二個十年

to learn revolution.

全世界的蟋蟀和我一起成長

一起蔑視困難，一起愛上暴力和月光

In my twenties,

一隻老虎出現在我的門口

every cricket in the world grew with me—

我聞到了肉味

together we laughed off trouble,

我像一隻兔子跳到別人的門口

falling in love with violence and moonlight.

看到男人和女人在準備節日的盛裝

When a tiger loomed in my doorway,

我偷盜，別人也偷盜

I smelled meat

我燒死麻雀，別人也燒死麻雀

and leaped like a rabbit at others’ doors.

生活如此，而我有突出的才華

I saw men and women dress for festivals,

我描畫理想的山水風光

I stole, others stole,

我沒有太多的罪行要求世人原諒

I burned sparrows, others burned sparrows.

Such was life, but my talent

一些門關閉了，另一些門尚未打開

painted perfect landscapes,

第三個十年適於出遊和讀書

and sought no forgiveness.

我折磨起自己來理所當然

我歌唱愛情的眉宇和膝蓋

Some doors closed, some were yet unopened;

卻從未在大街上看到天女下凡

my thirties a time to travel, time to read.

朋友們來了，生機勃勃，隨即杳無蹤影

Of course I tortured myself

留下我無法穿戴的襯衫和眼鏡

singing for love’s eyebrows and knees,

批判的鋒芒招來了災難

but no goddess wafted to my street.

像肉體中的暴亂招來了大雨

Friends showed up, vital and alive,

我扛著一把雨傘登上小丘

then vanished with their shadows,

一隻小鳥為尋找一個人而迎著雷鳴電閃

leaving eyeglasses, shirts I couldn’t wear.

在雨中飛旋

The sword of criticism draws disaster

like pangs in the body bring on heavy rain.

怎麼能既懷疑自己又懷疑世界？

I shouldered an umbrella and climbed a hill

你無法叫大雨停住，叫飛鳥落在手上

where a small bird circled in the rain,

思想像一把刀，僅僅一閃

welcoming thunder and lightning.

便使我的靈魂大汗淋漓

我趕走三十個高談闊論的哲學家

How to suspect oneself as well as the world?

對守護我的影子說：對不起

Ask the rain to stop pouring,

鹹的汗，鹹的淚，肉體還能是什麼味道？

the bird to flutter to your hand.

黑夜像一連串陳設相同的房間

Thought is a knife—one glint

我穿行其中，卻好像在一個房間裏

and my soul broke into a sweat.

來回踱步。從早到晚

I drove back thirty spouting philosophers,

關心未來說明我心中不快——

begged pardon of my guardian shadow.

大地運行只是我向無覺察——

Salt sweat, salt tears, how else would a body taste?

Night was a string of the same furnished rooms

I paced all day till dawn.

Giving a damn for the future meant I was unhappy—

the great earth turned but who felt it?