Only one copy of the flame-bound

捧著你被火焰裝訂成灰燼的孤本

book of ash, held in both hands

像捧著一塊剛剛迸出地心的花崗岩

like a flake of granite sprung from earth’s core,

七十個年輪灼燙的結晶

like scorched quartz, these bones’

收藏在這隻深褐色的木匣裏

seventy annular rings

等待我用慢慢冷卻的髓質的悲涼

enshrined in their dark wood box,

細細釋讀：父親——

awaiting close perusal

這部無字的大書

when my own sad marrow cools:

father—

或許，每個來到世間的生命

big book, wordless.

最終，都要將這易朽的肉身僅剩的

死神也啃不動的骨頭，送入地層深處

Each life lands in this world,

與所有骸骨一起，共同加固、支撐

its rind of flesh so soon decayed,

年邁的不堪重負的大地

maybe these bones, sunk deep

當這隻緊緊依偎著我心跳的木匣

with all that death won’t gnaw,

——這隻滿載我錐心疼痛的小舟

gird up the ancient soil

不得不在暮靄沉沉合攏的催迫裏

which cannot bear much more.

從我聲聲呼喚、挽留的臂彎解纜

This wooden boat, packed with grief’s cargo

從此漂向茫茫永夜的洪荒……

and bobbing at my pulse,

那一刻，那從血脈深處迸湧的

shuts tight amid the dusky mist,

撕心裂肺的爆發

slips from my arms, my voice,

使我終於撕掉那牢牢粘貼住心扉的

drifting toward vast primal night.

「儀規」的封條

In my veins the burst heart

迎著親友眾目睽睽的驚愕

tears its seal of custom,

像翻開一本我渴望已久的書籍的封面

and shameless I raise the lid

我掀開骨灰盒薄薄的蓋子

as if turning to a page,

將痙攣的失去知覺的手臂

my cramped, numb arm clutching

伸進去——

at the mound of white-blazed

伸進那堆穿過死亡的煉火

shards and dust,

仍保留著你生命驚人溫度的

still warm as life

熾白的骨碴和粉末：

after death’s cold fire,

索要烈焰焚心的紀念

to snatch these fragments.

一鍬鍬急雨般落向墓坑的泥土

Like sudden rain, earth patters down

落向深不見底——沒有回音的夜

to the grave’s soundless night.

我轉身，攥緊手中——

Clenched in my hands, seven shards

七塊鋒利的骨碴摩擦的磷火

chafe their spectral glow.

在喧囂人世的寂寂裏穿行

I pass silent through this clamorous world,

一支被此岸——彼岸

the last look on his seamed, stiffening face

這拉滿的弓弦射出的箭鏃

the arc of an arrow

在渴念中無望地加速——

speeding from one hopeless shore

為那抹也許我永遠無法追上的

to the other,

那如甘露般，從你嘴角凝固的

farther than my longest reach.

深深褶皺裏，緩緩沁出的

最後的微笑