起初我是不妒的

At first, no envy,

我既是男孩也是女孩

being neither boy nor girl

在河中身為鴛鴦

but a mandarin duck in the river,

在陸地身為鳳凰

on shore a phoenix

在夢裡以三顆頭三雙翅膀

I dreamt I grew three heads

飛翔

soaring on three pairs of wings

聽見嬰兒的聲音那是狐

Hearing a baby, it seemed a fox,

聽見老人的聲音那是鹿

if an old man’s moan, a deer,

聽見詈罵的聲音那是貍

if a curse, the bark of a raccoon dog,

聽見呻吟的聲音那是禺

a groan the complaint of a mythic monkey

俯瞰山谷有丹沙如粟

Across the valley, red sand strewn like foxtail millet,

仰望山巔雲煙似歌謠

above the peak, smoky clouds, ballads

我還不能辨識的山谷雲煙啊

I can’t remember,

只覺是一條條龍的身體

coiled dragons, mountain peaks

群山都在行拜祀之禮

all in ritual worship

起初我是不懼的

Fearless at first

我捏過蟻蠶拍過青蠅

I squeezed silkworms, smashed flies,

追打一條花蛇掏空一窩鳥蛋

chased a many-banded krait, rifled a bird’s nest,

無情如鴟哀傷如鳧

heartless as an owl, sad as a dabbling duck,

慾望似蜉蝣淺海的紫螺

my desires mayflies, violet sea-snails

我唱的歌無人會意

beside a shallow sea,

竟以哭字作我的歌名

this song I sing no one understands

so call it lamentation