人生苦短，但这点我不让孩子知道。

Life is short, though I keep this from my children.

人生苦短，但我还自己作践折寿，

Life is short, and I've shortened mine

用了一千种馋人且不明智的方法，

in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways,

而这一千种不明智得馋人的方法，

a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways

我也不让孩子知道。这世界起码有

I'll keep from my children. The world is at least

百分之五十烂透了，这还是保守估计，

fifty percent terrible, and that's a conservative

但我也不让我的孩子们知道。

estimate, though I keep this from my children.

有一只鸟，就有一块石头砸向一只鸟。

For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird.

有个孩子有人爱，就有个孩子被击倒、

For every loved child, a child broken, bagged,

装袋，沉入湖中。人生苦短，这个世界

sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world

起码百分之五十烂透了，有一个善良的

is at least half terrible, and for every kind

陌生人，就会有一个想整垮你的人，

stranger, there is one who would break you,

但这一点我不让孩子知道。我正努力

though I keep this from my children. I am trying

向他们推销这个世界。任何在行的房屋

to sell them the world. Any decent realtor

经纪，带你参观一套烂透的破屋，也会

walking you through a real shithole, chirps on

动听地说起骨架挺好：这地方可以很美，

about good bones: This place could be beautiful,

对不对吧？你可以把这地方装修得很美。

right? You could make this place beautiful.