一
I
生活不是玩笑：
Living is no laughing matter:
你必须严肃地活着，
you must live with great seriousness
好比你是一只松鼠——
like a squirrel, for example—
我说，生活是你的全部职业，
I mean without looking for something beyond and above living,
没什么是生活之上和生活之外。
I mean living must be your whole occupation.
Living is no laughing matter:
生活不是玩笑：
you must take it seriously,
你必须严肃地活着，
so much so and to such a degree
不论是：
that, for example, your hands tied behind your back,
你的双手被反绑，
your back to the wall,
背靠着墙；
or else in a laboratory
或者在一个实验室里，
in your white coat and safety glasses,
穿着白大褂戴着眼镜；
you can die for people—
你为别人而死，
even for people whose faces you’ve never seen,
甚至是陌生人，
even though you know living
甚至当你知道生活是唯一真实、美丽的事。
is the most real, the most beautiful thing.
我说，你必须这么严肃地活，
I mean, you must take living so seriously
甚至在七十岁，你也要种植橄榄树——
that even at seventy, for example, you’ll plant olive trees—
并非为你的子孙
and not for your children, either,
只因为你信仰的不是那让你恐惧的死亡，
but because although you fear death you don’t believe it,
只因为，我说，生比死更重。
because living, I mean, weighs heavier.
1947
1947
二
II
比如，你患了重病，需要手术
Let’s say we’re seriously ill, need surgery—
我们不能坐在一起了。
which is to say we might not get up
甚至知道，离开注定是悲伤。
from the white table.
我们还是说笑话，
Even though it’s impossible not to feel sad
看窗外的雨，
about going a little too soon,
或者焦急的等候今天的报纸。
we’ll still laugh at the jokes being told,
比如，我们在战场上，为了某种理想，
we’ll look out the window to see if it’s raining,
在进攻的那天，
or still wait anxiously
我们会仰面倒下。
for the latest newscast. . .
在好奇和愤怒中，
Let’s say we’re at the front—
但我们依然急切地等着战争的结果，即便是数十年。
for something worth fighting for, say.
比如，五十岁时我们被投入监牢，
There, in the first offensive, on that very day,
还有十八年的徒刑在面前。
we might fall on our face, dead.
我们依然活在外面，
We’ll know this with a curious anger,
和那些人，动物，挣扎，风云一起活着，
but we’ll still worry ourselves to death
在高墙之外，或别处
about the outcome of the war, which could last years.
我们必须活着，好像没有死亡。
Let’s say we’re in prison
and close to fifty,
1948
and we have eighteen more years, say,
before the iron doors will open.
三
We’ll still live with the outside,
with its people and animals, struggle and wind—
这世界会变得很冷，
I mean with the outside beyond the walls.
只是群星中的最小一颗
I mean, however and wherever we are,
蓝丝绒间的一点霉迹——
we must live as if we will never die.
真的，这就是我们伟大的地球。
一天它变得如此寒冷，
1948
不如一块冰峰，
也非垂死的云彩。
III
我们的地球是无限黑暗中，
随意被翻滚的核桃……
This earth will grow cold,
你必为这渺小而悲恸，必须悲伤才行——
a star among stars
你要如此热爱这世界，才能说：“我曾活过”。
and one of the smallest,
a gilded mote on blue velvet—
1948.2
I mean this, our great earth.
This earth will grow cold one day,
not like a block of ice
or a dead cloud even
but like an empty walnut it will roll along
in pitch-black space . . .
You must grieve for this right now
—you have to feel this sorrow now—
for the world must be loved this much
if you’re going to say “I lived”. . .
1948.2