我不知道黄峪,  Marija Todorova 译

I DON’T KNOW尼古拉·马兹洛夫


遥远的是我梦想中的所有房子,
Distant are all the houses I am dreaming of,
遥远的是我母亲的声音
distant is the voice of my mother
唤我吃晚饭,而我却奔向那麦田。
calling me for dinner, but I run toward the fields of wheat.

我们遥遥相对就像一个错过目标的球
We are distant like a ball that misses the goal
飞向天际,我们活着
and goes toward the sky, we are alive
就像一个温度计它仅仅在我们看着它的时候
like a thermometer that is precise only when
读数才准确。
we look at it.

这遥远的现实每天都在和我对质
The distant reality every day questions me
就像一个陌生的旅客在途中把我叫醒
like an unknown traveler who wakes me up in the middle of the journey
说“请问是这部车么?”
saying Is this the right bus?,
然后我回答“是的”,但其实我想说“我不知道”
and I answer Yes, but I mean I don't know,
我不知道你祖父母的城市
I don't know the cities of your grandparents
他们希望离开那里发现的各种疾病
who want to leave behind all discovered diseases
还有以耐心开展的治疗方案。
and cures made of patience.

我梦见在我们的欲望之山上有一所房子,
I dream of a house on the hill of our longings,
可以看见海浪怎样描画
to watch how the waves of the sea draw
一幅心电图关于我们的失落和爱情,
the cardiogram of our falls and loves,
看见人们如何相信以免于沉落
how people believe so as not to sink
迈步以免于被忘却。
and step so as not to be forgotten.

遥远的是保护我们免于风暴袭击的那些小屋
Distant are all the huts where we hid from the storm
在里面我们免于体验母鹿死亡的疼痛 她们死在那些猎人的眼前
and from the pain of the does dying in front of the eyes of the hunters
他们寂寞 但并不饥饿。
who were more lonely than hungry.

这遥远的时刻每天都问我
The distant moment every day asks me
“这是窗户么?”“这是生活么?”我说
Is this the window? Is this the life? and I say
“是的”,但其实我想说“我不知道”,我不知道
Yes, but I mean I don't know, I don't know if
鸟儿是否会开始说话,而不提到“天空”。
birds will begin to speak, without uttering A sky.


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